Guilt

Guilt is a funny thing and it doesn’t always hit you the way you might imagine, especially when you have not done anything that should make you feel guilty. This upside down guilt trip is often experienced by children caught up in a dysfunctional home who find themselves hurt or abused in some way, possibly emotionally or physically. The situation was out of their control, but still they have an unreasonable sense of guilt. One theory is that there is a figure of authority involved and the child doesn’t know how else to react, so they feel guilty.

In a similar manner, feeling guilty as a result of a figure of authority stepping out of line in another adult’s life can also make the victim feel guilty for bringing up a thorny issue in the first place. The offender doesn’t think they have said or done anything wrong, or else they would not have said or done that thing that hurts so much in the first place.

Deep inside, we carry certain firmly held beliefs which have been a significant part of our lives for many years. More years than you could imagine, and inside that ‘protected bubble’ is a part of you that no one should try to change, or even tamper with. Our faith is very like that because it is embedded in our very psyche, and means a great deal to us. In fact one of the benefits of belonging to a group of believers like a church, is that we are like minded. The same kinds of things disturb us, and encourage us. To the unchurched unbeliever we may look and sound the same, but it’s what is deep inside that makes us who we are on the outside.

Because these feelings are so deep and common, it is very seldom if ever that one of our church friends would step out of the same comfort zone. You would never expect a true believer to curse or swear for example and thankfully that seldom, if ever happens. What can happen however is that some find ways around it. Swear words can be partly spelled in a conversation, or abbreviated in print such as in the common OMG usage. The other method of deliberately stepping out of that normally safe ‘zone’ but without saying the curse word in the written form is to replace some or all of the letters with an ‘*’. That way you make it known what you mean, but are in the clear because you didn’t say the offending word. And it IS an offending word, even in non Christian circles. Everyone knows this. Why else go to the effort of playing games with the letters? In fact, what’s stopping that person from saying the swear word out loud, because we know they are thinking it?

There is little room for error when a phrase is used like, “What the ‘****’ .” I can only think of a few four letter words which would fit, they all involve swearing, and none of them are remotely pleasant or complimentary. I said earlier that this would seldom if ever come from a fellow believer, and thankfully that is true. But what if it comes unexpectedly from someone you look up to and respect? Now this is where the feeling of guilt comes in, even for a seasoned and mature believing adult. To bring this up with someone who obviously doesn’t see anything wrong, puts the pressure on the hearer who is offended and not on the one who said it, ie the offender.

There are two ways to handle a situation like this. Either head on, in a very confrontational manner, or apologise your way through the reason why you feel the way you do, ie you feel and show your guilt. We are taught from an early age to love one another, and love your neighbour as yourself, so tackling anything head on with any other believer goes against your heart and your core beliefs. What are you left with? A firm and unshakeable sense of unnecessary guilt….and a question that will not go away, which no one can answer.

Having said that, there is another way, but it’s the hardest of all. By showing the same grace and forgiveness that God has extended to us. Does that let them off the hook? Yes it does, however forgiving feels good and right, but even more than that, we are reminded in Genesis 18:25 “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” So it’s much better to leave it in God’s hands to sort out in the affected hearts.

Comfort Zone

What’s the difference between our ‘happy place’ and our ‘comfort zone’? I thought they were one and the same place, but maybe not. It seems we are allowed, perhaps even encouraged to have our personal ‘happy place’ to call our own where we can retreat from the cares of this world and rest content at least for a while. We can’t stay there forever and we know it, but it is a comfort to know our happy place is there.

On the other hand, we are oftentimes pushed to get out of our ‘comfort zone’ because it isn’t such a good place to be. We need to be uncomfortable to the point of not having one and being unsettled because it means we are not making a difference to people and the world around us. Staying in our comfort zone makes us lazy to the needs of others who are not a part of our ‘group’ or church and after all, we want them to join us. How will others know the truth if we don’t share our story with them? I get that, but…..

Can I suggest that many people have made a conscious decision to change the place they once called their comfort zone, and it had not been a good place. It may have been the only place they knew of where they could retreat to escape from the cares of this world. Maybe that comfort zone once included drugs, alcohol, nicotine, or having a double or secret life. Then having seen the difference a life in Christ can make, some of us swapped our old comfort zone to a new one which really is a comfort, and not just a temporary happy place escape. Why then should I leave the comfort zone which became my much needed retreat and yes, even my Saviour? Is it then so wrong for our ‘happy place’ to become our safe and secure ‘comfort zone’? I don’t think so. You?

Hope

And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.          1 Thessalonians 4:13 NLT

Funerals seem to come in groups, and as you know none are happy affairs. In my time, I have attended several from the soul-less and God-less humanist ‘service’ right through to the joyful celebration of a life lived to the full and lived well. I know a man who became a military chaplain partly because of the question that haunted him: “Where are they now”?

Don’t you think we take some things for granted? For example, life? More so, the Christian life? When we are young, we feel invincible and untouchable and slowly over the years we become more aware of our vulnerability and mortality. Those feelings touch everyone, and it’s just part of life. But do you and I take our Christian life for granted too? That is, if you think of yourself as a Christian (with a capital ‘C’) and not a nominal christian (with a lowercase ‘c’).

Being a Christian makes the biggest difference when you go to a funeral, whether family, a friend, or a casual acquaintance. Does anything ever strike you during the service in church, or the crematorium? How well the songs and hymns are sung. The atmosphere that lingers underneath the outer human grief. The sure and certain knowledge that this still living soul is now in heaven with their Lord and Saviour. Don’t try to tell me it doesn’t matter because it certainly does.

As a believing Christian every one has the cast iron assurance of an eternity in heaven, not only with their Christian loved ones, but with the author of their salvation. I know the minister will always do his or her best to ease the pain of the grieving family and friends, but there is a limit to what they can truthfully say. However there is no limit to the positive words anyone can use to describe the benefits of the faithful believers. Because beneath the temporal tears of the mourning loved ones, lies the certainty of the joy that they have been welcomed to a reward in Glory that we cannot adequately describe.

Let’s do the minister a favour and live life so that he can tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth at our own ‘going away’ celebrations!

Shame

It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. Ephesians 5:12

This world is full of double minded people who say one thing but do the opposite. I know Christians get that thrown at them all the time, but those who do not claim that particular ‘high ground’ are much worse and probably even bigger hypocrites.

There are two very different worldviews being shown and presented on our media, especially the TV and movie industries. In one instance, our eyes and ears are filled with stories of the sordid lives of the rich celebrities who have an openly hedonistic lifestyle, where practically nothing is off limit. We watch as their lives are exposed to the scrutiny of the camera wielding movie maker, and tut as we shake our head. That’s a terrible way to live, we mutter under our breath, but it doesn’t stop us from checking out what they are up to in their next movie or TV soap. At the other end of the scale, in the real world we have reports of sexual abuses against the most vulnerable in society, even some who are under age. Once again, we tut and shake our head while continuing to watch and follow the very things that we claim horrify us.

While these reports are normal viewing, and we feign our horror, we are happy to watch the ongoing soaps and movies of ungodly lives who represent a lifestyle we appear to secretly like enough to follow. We like the action we say.

The other worldview is of openly Godly and wholesome living. We call these programs and movies ‘soppy’ or only for the soft headed women. However, they usually carry a strong moral message, or a clear portrayal of good values that triumph over bad. Why then do we avoid owning up to preferring this worldview? If we profess to be a Christian we don’t need to worry about what the ungodly are doing in secret. Or are we afraid that our worldly pals will think we are going soft?

Omniscience

But he knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold. Job 23:10 NLT

Some very clever theologians who hold to the belief that God has given man Free Will, have a problem with God’s Omniscience. The basic thought goes something like this: If we really do have free will, and it is independent of God’s desire, how can God know what we will do, until we do it? Only then can He react and step in. You will probably have to read that a few times to let it sink in.

Psalm 139 gives us a clear insight to God’s undisputed omniscience. He will not determine our path, but God certainly knows it. In fact it is clear that God knows our every path. This may disturb you, but for my part it gives great comfort. Here are some verses from Psalm 139 which support that claim:

V2-4 “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.”

I see this as a reference to the present and the future.

V6,7 “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?”

Unfortunately, I see and read of some very learned professors using their own education and reasoning to figure out God while cherry picking their own Bible thoughts. My own belief is that God does not make our decisions for us, but He does know what we will do before we act. Why? Because God is love, we enjoy God given free will, and we are not robots.

Senses

“...when he came to himself.” Luke 15:17a ESV

It was time for Jill to come out of the shadows. She had spent far too long not being noticed and she didn’t like the thought that her pals looked on her as a goodie two shoes. She lived in a nice house, and her mum and dad were always good to her and treated her well. In fact, that was part of the problem. How can I shake off the ‘nice’ image so that I can be just like my friends. Then they would like me better and accept me. So Jill decided to change her set of pals from her church youth group friends, to her school friends who seemed to have a better time living life on or near the edge.

Her heart pounded the first time she went into a club. It was so easy even though she was underage. A little bell rung in her head but she ignored it. The group headed to the bar and Jill followed fully intending to have a soft drink, but what would they think of me if I did that? She decided to order the same as her friends but not drink it. That plan fell by the wayside. Another bell rung, but was ignored. The music was loud and before long she was on the floor gyrating to music that was far too loud, but her pals all seemed to be enjoying it. More bells rung and were ignored. It didn’t take too long before a nice looking young man came over to talk to her, and seeing that she was a bit tense, offered her a ‘perfectly legal’ pill to loosen her up. That way she would enjoy the rave even more. More bells, and by now getting even louder. They too were pushed aside. In no time at all, Jill was on her own. Where did her friends go? By now she was getting nervous, and more so when the same nice young man came along and invited her to leave the place early, and take a drive to an isolated and quiet spot to get to know each other better. Bells, lights, and a klaxon were blaring in Jill’s head by now, but what to do? In a short time it hit her. This was no way to live. Being so close to the edge of danger wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, so she gathered up her things and got out of there as fast as she could. She didn’t care where her friends were. At that point Jill had come to her senses and in the process learned a valuable lesson which would stay with her for life.

We don’t know what the Prodigal got into when he left home. We do know he was in the ‘far country’ which signifies a place far from God, and the Bible tells us that he wasted his life. It didn’t happen immediately, but like Jill, the Prodigal came to his senses. The only difference was the timing. If you are thinking of being a ‘prodigal’, or are one already, I trust and pray your senses kick in sooner rather than later. The longer you leave it, the deeper the ditch you dig. As for Jill? Her journey continues but she has learned one of the most valuable lessons she will ever face in her life. It’s a start, and a good one at that.

Lost It?

I suppose it had to happen one day. It felt like I had just turned my back and it was gone without a trace. It wasn’t an ordinary relationship, but let me try to explain some more but try to keep up with my wandering thoughts!

I had a lot of good contacts there and used them a lot. We would talk and be in touch often, of course some folks were better friends than others, but I always knew where they were, and how to get in touch. The truth is there were even folks in my ‘list’ I hardly knew but I felt it was a good idea to keep a note for the future. If you’re with the same crowd for a long time, they have ‘specials’ where you can relax a bit more. I suppose I was familiar with the way everything worked and there were very few surprises. It had become a part of my life, but I didn’t mind.

After a short time at the start when I wasn’t sure how things would work out, I decided to go for the casual membership contract and I found that was good value, at least for me. It didn’t seem to work for everyone mind you, but support was just a call away, and they would try to sort out whatever was troubling me. That didn’t happen very often but it was good to know the support was there.

Then the program changed, and just about everything changed with it. I seemed to lose some of my contacts. They were there one day and gone the next. Or that’s the way it seemed. The others in the list didn’t behave the same way after that. I don’t think any of us knew how to react to the ‘improvements’ as the company rolled out one by one until the way it ended up was unrecognisable. The specials weren’t so appealing now and more suited to a different crowd, some of whom were not even on my original contact list.

Mobile phones change every year and it’s hard to keep up with the changes they bring out. On top of that, as I get older, the more I get used to the one I have, and any change of handset or contract takes me longer to get used to. It didn’t happen overnight, but there came a time when I thought, why bother trying to keep up with the constant changes which the owners called progress. Sometimes change happens and it takes you too far from the solid, familiar ground you had, and for what benefit? So, you do what anyone else does in that situation. You change provider and go back to the tried and tested ways which brought you there in the first place?

Whether it’s my mobile phone, or my church, it’s a very similar process. Who would have thought?

The Unhealthy Church Problem

How does a church once averaging a healthy number in the Sunday service, drop to half in the relatively short space of a couple of decades? I think the answer may be in confrontation, or to be more accurate, the lack of confrontation. Most of us say that we would rather know what’s going on than guess, so leaders will say, please come and tell us your problems, issues, or those things you don’t fully agree with and we will talk it through and maybe find a solution because we don’t want to lose you.

The other more likely possibility is that some folks will leave without saying why, or making a fuss, or raising an issue, and before we know it we have let them go. Maybe we are not surprised they went, and possibly we even expected it. Perhaps we even secretly thought that we would be better off without them? I certainly hope not! The bottom line is that no one followed through to ask them. Why would this be?

Let’s go back to confrontation. No one likes it, no matter what they say in public to make themselves sound caring. So, when a person or family decide to move to another church, we let them go. Normally, we comfort ourselves with the thought that at least they are not lost to the Kingdom, because another church assembly has benefitted from our loss. But what if that same process keeps being repeated? Worse still, what if they decide not to go to any church? Are we bold enough to learn, and change?

We know that Jesus, the Good Shepherd, will leave the ninety-nine in safety to search for the one lost sheep, but what about us? How does that translate to your church, or to mine for that matter?

What, Nothing?

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV

Words written centuries ago by Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, but surely it’s different these days? We have advanced in so many ways that Solomon wouldn’t recognise. Technology, medicine, science, education, air and space travel, but are these the kinds of things Solomon was talking about? Obviously not. One thing is the same, and that is human nature. We haven’t advanced any in the things that make us ‘tick’ since the days in the garden of Eden.

The heart of men and women need something that our advanced civilisation cannot provide. How do you measure love, hate, sympathy, and all the feelings that come from within? The simple answer is that you cannot figure out these emotions using advanced science. Having said the obvious, it follows that the truth and morality of the Bible still holds today, just as it did in Solomon’s time.

We look for ways to make church more attractive, so that we can bring those ‘outside the fold’ inside. Once they are inside, we must take the next step to provide the only answer to life’s ills and disappointments and it’s the Gospel. We cannot afford to get sidetracked into spending all our time in new programs, which can be a good thing, only to fail at the most important part. The possible outcome could be a busy church, full of half hearted attenders, or a half full church of sincere Christians loving and living the Gospel in open outreach. No prizes for guessing where my vote would lie. Finally, if you say you would rather have a full church of completely committed believers, I would too, but realistically we know that would not be the likely outcome. I refer you back to the verse at the top. There is nothing new under the sun that’s going to happen to change some things, no matter what we think, hope, or trust would be for the good in our human opinion. So, who do you trust more, old Solomon or the modern day Christian psychologist?

Humility

Dictionary definition of humility:”the quality of having a modest or low view of one's importance.”

Humility is like a vapour. Easy to see, but impossible to get your hands on, or your arms around. There is a lot of truth to the idea that just when you think you have it, you lose it! In fact humility is not something we should try to see in ourselves, but by contrast it can be seen more easily in others. I think you would agree that there are people we know, who we see as humble, but they would never say that of themselves. In fact they will not see it in themselves either!

So, the question that haunts me is this: How do we aspire to be humble if we can’t see it in ourselves? Perhaps we could look at the question from the other angle. What are the characteristics we can see in others that in our mind makes them humble? Firstly and perhaps most important is that they will never draw attention to themselves, so they are never loud either in lifestyle, or language.

Children are taught to be assertive and not withdrawn or backward, and this coupled with social media where the number of ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ is paramount, what chance can anyone have of finding that elusive thing called humility? The one place where people will aspire to see and become humble is church. The Bible shows the life of Jesus where he is undoubtedly lowly and humble, but who wants to be like Him, when we can be popular and show folks how good we are?

The apostle says it this way in 1 Peter 5:5 : “Be gentle as you care for each other. God works against those who have pride. He gives His loving-favour to those who do not try to honour themselves.” . What a lesson. So if a Christian comes across as: see me, hear me, loud, proud, assertive, pushy, or showy, they still have some way to go before the standard is reached, but remember it is easier to see humility in others, so we must take care that we don’t have any of these ‘anti-humility’ traits ourselves. You and I might not see them, but those around us certainly will!

Anxiety, Prayer, Peace

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7 NIV

This verse came up in my personal devotions recently. It’s a well known couple of verses which are preached on and quoted often. But for the first time in many years I noticed there is something missing, and once you notice the omission, you can’t help but wonder how it had passed you by before now because it’s so obvious.

The core message is prayer, and its importance in our Christian life and faith when we are worried, concerned, or anxious. It is good to come before His throne and just thank Him for all the goodness He showers us with every day. But sometimes, the cares and worries of this life overtake us and we are overwhelmed by our feelings. Our head knows full well that God is faithful, but our heart still needs assurance. So we pray and lay our human feelings before Him openly and honestly.

Then what? That’s where the advice stops, and that’s when it hit me. There is no mention of an answer from God. No promise that everything will work out the way we want. No time frame given for how long this cloud hanging over you will last.

The lesson I take from this, and my apologies if I am coming late to this truth, is that our peace of mind is directly linked to our sincere prayer, and NOT to the answer which God will give in His own time. Let’s face it, oftentimes we already know what we want God to do to fix our worry, and knowing this, and in His infinite wisdom, He makes the important action our prayer and not the answer. Oh yes, we serve a wise God.

My Responsibility

But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required. Luke 12:48 NLT

We know ourselves best, and no one knows us better. No one except God that is! I like the fact that we serve a reasonable God who doesn’t expect more of us than we are capable of doing or can handle. When we start out on this journey of faith, we know little, and if we stumble our God grants mercy and grace, and doesn’t rush to judgement. However, when we are mature Christians, God expects better from us than the occasional thoughtless stumble.

Our Pastors, teachers and leaders have our respect, but with that respect comes responsibility. As a shepherd of a flock, whether a megachurch or a small group, the Pastor must earn, and continue to earn, the respect of those he or she leads. It is one thing if a young Christian does something wrong as our verse says, but it is another thing entirely if the leading shepherd who has been entrusted with the care of the flock, knowingly steps out of line and fails. That action has a ripple effect across the few or many of his or her flock.

But I am not off the hook as a mature Christian, with many years of Bible knowledge and experience behind me. It is also important that I behave as an example to others, and don’t knowingly do anything wrong, but it goes the other way too. I cannot ignore the misdeeds of someone more senior in the faith, or in my church. That would include Pastoral leadership, after all it wouldn’t be the first time that a well respected leader has fallen short of their known responsibility and led someone (or many) astray by words, example, or both.

Let me be honest here. I do not like the burden of responsibility I feel being caught in the middle. Staying silent only stays the day of reckoning when more damage may have been done, but speaking up makes enemies of the very ones you had held in high regard, and many still will, so there is a cost. However, I go back to the verse for today which reminds me of my responsibility: “when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” That applies to us all to some degree or other. Are you up to it? Am I??

Time to Keep Silent

To every thing there is a season...a time to keep silence, and a time to speak. Ecclesiastes 3:1,7

We all face the question in our own minds, whether to put up or shut up. Speak or be silent. Let rip or stay schtum. Our base instinct is to shout the odds at the thing that hurts and annoys us, or perhaps the person that has crossed the line we have drawn in the sand. We all wrestle with that one many times, and I think we fail wise Solomon’s measured advice.

There certainly is a time to speak out, and confront evil because Jesus tells us to beware of false teachers and prophets in the Gospels, but that is not to be used as a licence to shoot from the hip every time something or someone crosses our own personal line, opinion, or feeling.

This very dilemma troubled me recently. My initial reaction was to confront the source of my disagreement both in person and content. Fortunately, I allowed some time to pass while the issue percolated in my mind and I am glad it worked out that way. Not because I had changed my mind, far from it, because I still feel the same about the person and the problem it gives me, and most likely some other folks looking on.

In war we talk about collateral damage. Not the direct hits, or the intended targets, but the property and people who were on the edges of the line of fire. Bringing this issue up in a public arena would have affected a group of people who a) might have disagreed anyway, or b) had not seen the original problem, and now knowing it, might take their own action and walk away. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for that outcome, and c) my own reputation and standing could be tainted and tarnished for all time.

The final, and most important consideration for staying silent is that it allows the person who caused my own worry and concern, to move on, and perhaps allow them to change. In His infinite wisdom, God has granted me grace when I have failed Him, so I must give grace to others. Of course, they may not believe they did any wrong, and a public outing makes any change (if it was seen as necessary) unlikely. On a personal and more human front, if the same thing happened again, I would come to another conclusion. Once bitten, twice shy as the old saying goes!

But What?

But I came to give life—life that is full and good. John 10:10 ERV
But you refuse to come to me to have that life. John 5:40 ERV

You can’t help but ask the obvious question. Why? The leaders of the church in Jesus’ time knew everything, or at least they thought they did. They knew their scriptures inside out and back to front, and this Jesus was obviously an imposter. They could see it, and they questioned anyone else that thought differently. They never stopped being taught, even when they became Scribes and Pharisees. The trouble is they never really learned. We can see that being the case in secular life, so why not in the synagogue?

The parallel is uncannily similar today, and the question is the same. Given the promise of real, full, abundant life for free, why would anyone turn their back on it? The Pharisees couldn’t see it and today there are those who know better, both in the general church and outside it. It’s not that the gift of life isn’t offered in our day and age because it is, and the cost is the same, it is a free gift. Full life for the living is free.

We have advanced in so many ways since Jesus’ day. Science and technology have taken over, and we can talk our way out of anything. That last part hasn’t changed from the Pharisees’ day. The biggest difference today is that we may have convinced ourselves that Jesus was an imposter, or a lunatic, or a liar. Maybe a bit of all three. This is made easier since society has downgraded church and Jesus to a mere side show. When you dismiss the gospel of Jesus Christ, His life, death and resurrection, you can ignore anything He might have said. In fact, you can ignore all of the Bible as a fairy tale.

If you were offered a gift of something you wanted and needed greatly, wouldn’t you at least give the giver a chance by taking the gift and seeing if it is true? Are you so arrogant and sure of yourself that you would turn away from it without a second thought? We haven’t come very far as a human race since Jesus’ time, and I suggest we are no different today.

Why?

There is a reason behind everything we do. Nothing is random. For example, how do you deal with confused thoughts? Or decision making? Or worries and concerns? Or even issues you care about deeply like religion and faith? That’s a good place to stop for now. So, how do you deal with the doubts or questions that arise from your deep seated, long held, beliefs? It’s a big ask and no small task.

Some will involve a professional counsellor if the problem is deep enough. Some will talk to a trusted friend, and let’s face it, we all need trusted friends. It has also been known for some to call into TV or radio help shows. When you go shopping for your groceries, what do you do? I for one will make a list because I want to make sure I get everything I need. It also gives me some peace of mind because I have already given my outing to the shop, some significant thought. That makes the whole operation easier.

Similarly, my way of handling my thoughts about the things I care about is to write them down, a bit like the shopping list except on a bigger scale, and for a much more important purpose. The name for people who do this nowadays, is a ‘blogger’ and the things they write down is a ‘blog’. When the blog is complete, and is something you don’t mind sharing with others, it can be published online to one of the sites that are for that very purpose. If you are a thinker/blogger it can be a help if there are others out there who have come across the same things, or are going through it now. Those people who a add constructive comment will contribute to the level of help, support and growth needed.

I know what some are thinking. Why write it down like a journal at all? Why make it public? Are you feeling insecure? It has to be said that not everyone who reads these thoughts will think or comment positively. It’s a risk, so not done for a sense of vanity. Think about it this way, if you read a blogger’s thoughts, you are seeing into their heart. You may or may not agree or like what you read, but then again, you may read a thought you have already entertained. As I said, it’s a risk. However, for the most part the good and helpful comments will outweigh the negative and bad, so the judgement is that it is worth doing. Welcome to my world!

"You Shall Not" IS a Valid Choice

For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbour; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13:9,10 ESV

We don’t like to be told not to do something, and it affects the church too. There is more to be gained by being positive we are told, and that is true too. But let’s not forget that the 10 Commandments in Exodus 20 include several that say “Thou shalt not” and it would do us well to take note.

Jesus shed new light on the Old Testament commandments by telling us to Love God with all our hearts, minds and strength, and our neighbour as ourselves. The old law still stands. We cannot ignore any of the ten commandments even though some might think they are too negative to be modern or helpful. The Bible is full of things we are commanded NOT to do, or be involved in, and they are there for our good. God knows the things that are harmful to us as individuals, and as a society. We would be wise to take note and act on the “Thou shalt NOT” as well as the “Thou shalt”. It’s not a pick ‘n mix faith.

Hurts You or Me More?

In the not so dim and distant past when good parents actually administered a little chastisement to their children when they were naughty, or in danger, or to teach one of life’s lessons, the parent would be heard to say, “this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you”. Perhaps you have heard those words, and perhaps you were one of those parents. And you meant it for good! Smacking your child, right or wrong? The debate continues!

Of course the offending phrase can and does apply to more than a physical smack. It can hurt us emotionally and even spiritually when as adults we find ourselves in the position of doling out an unexpected ‘correction/smack’ to another adult, even though it might be kept within our own head. This outflow usually comes in the form of a word or words to show our displeasure with things said and done by someone held in esteem, and now we think they may need to know how we feel. This will only, ever, be done after a lot of heart searching and always with a heavy heart.

The outcome, unlike with your child, is always irreversible. There can be no going back because you, the younger in authority, are telling the one(s) in greater Christian maturity and authority that you don’t accept or agree with something they have said or done. Something they see nothing wrong with, but you most certainly do! When the words are out, they cannot be taken back, and they always come with consequences.

In serious and extreme situations, this troublesome correction will mean a friendship is scarred, broken, or perhaps lost. In a church situation where the witness of the church or a person is undermined, it may result in the parting of company. I wish it could be otherwise, but because these things are usually left so late in the day, no other result is likely.

Loose Talk. Again!

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 NIV

This verse is easy to understand, although some who might stray across the line will interpret the words ‘unwholesome talk’ to suit themselves and their need to be seen as ‘normal’, or ‘one of the guys’. Unwholesome talk or street language can be separated into swearing or ‘soft swearing’ which is as loose as it comes. The ordinary man and woman who bears no allegiance to a faith has no problems with swearing.

However, I have found to my surprise and sometimes shock, there are Christians who will see how close they can come to swearing, without actually saying the words. So you find people who should know better using the abbreviation OMG, and if you raise the issue, you will be told the ‘G’ means Gosh. They must be the only folks in the world who think that way, but it allows them to be more like their friends and not an outsider.

Another one that has come across my path recently is the expletive ‘sh**t’ which is a clear replacement for the word ‘sh*t’. Any check on Google will bear this out and I believe this is known to the user, but once again its usage can make them feel closer to the edge of language, and so too their peers.

So what, I can hear you say? You have been here before, and you are right, I have. I suppose my biggest problem is that my unchurched friends don’t use this kind of language especially on social media, but I do see and hear it from those in church leadership. Leaders who are younger in years and more recent theology graduates from our leading universities. Would you not agree that more is reasonably expected from our church pastors and leaders, such that speech should be above question, suspicion, or reproach? Or am I setting the bar too high for us all, leaders and laity alike?

Perhaps I am the one who is unreasonable and out of step?

The No-No

It is said that when you are in a discussion with friends, you should never talk about politics or religion. Let’s just say I will try to heed that… but just a little, and hopefully not stray into deep waters. The reason for not speaking about these two subjects is that they can bring out the worst in us as we retreat to the safety of our little corner and shout from there. The underlying reason is quite simple really. If you don’t agree on something at the start, you will not agree at the end, no matter how eloquent the arguments are made on either side. In fact, a perfectly good friendship can be changed forever. In the hope that we will still be friends, let me take the safer of these two ‘no-nos’ and bring up the subject of politics.

The starting point is easy. In politics both sides whether left or right want to live in a better world, and so bring out their plans to make it happen. These manifestos will be identical in some points, similar in others, and diametrically opposed in a few. The trouble is that these last ones tend to be the things we want to talk about, because they are the most interesting and divisive! We are drawn like a moth to the flame. We try, but we can’t keep our mouth shut.

Now here’s the question I want to leave with you. How do you and I react when we differ greatly on a major part of the manifesto, even with our friends?? I guess for the most part, we humour them (and ourselves) and pass it over as just ‘one of those things’, and that is good. But then there are those other times when we differ (and we will) over something which separates us greatly. It’s not so easy to gloss over these ones, and so we enter dangerous ground. If we stay quiet, they will think we have come over to their way, but then if we disagree as strongly as they have made their case, we will probably say too much and jeopardise our relationship. And anyway we argue (to ourselves) we always said we should be open and honest with each other. That openness and honesty can, and will, come with a cost. And there will be more than a political price to pay.

Come to think of it, whether in politics or religion, the dangers and pitfalls are the same. There are times we must make an informed but calculated decision to speak out about those things that separate us within the Christian church, or stay silent in order to keep the peace. Either way, silent or not, there is still a high price to pay with important relationships. Maybe then the old adage is true after all. We don’t talk about religion or politics in ANY open company. The price is huge, and have you noticed that neither side is ever wrong. Bad enough when it’s politics, but unChristlike when it’s religion.

Against Us?

‘Teacher,’ said John, ‘we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.’ ‘Do not stop him,’ Jesus said. ‘For no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us. Truly I tell you, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to the Messiah will certainly not lose their reward. Mark 9:38-41 NIV

This is another of those passages that has confused me, and made me stop to think more than once I hasten to add.

In today’s language it looks like this. Someone who is not a Christian (by our thinking), does some good and in Jesus’ name. It could even be a miraculous sign as in this case, but it would certainly be a surprise, and a shock to some of today’s church ‘elite’ (Just like the Pharisees of Jesus’ day). Looking beyond the good that’s done, we focus right in on the thought that this is just not right. How can a ‘bad person’ do good? And even worse if they use the name of Jesus in the process? We don’t like that so we pull up verses that support our thinking, and they are not hard to find.

We seem to be able to accept that bad things can happen to good people, but not so good at accepting if any good work is done by one of our self confessed ‘false teachers/prophets’. Since we have already consigned them to the dustbin of hell, surely Jesus can’t be using them, so their good works can only come from one other source. Hell itself. Jesus knows our every thought, so what could He mean when He said, “whoever is not against us is for us”?

Is it possible that God will use who He wants to use for His good, no matter who he or she is, and no matter our own conviction and judgement that they are not in the right church camp?

Dilute to Taste

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8 NIV

One of my favourite drinks is a concentrated fruit squash, and stated clearly on the label are the words: “Dilute to Taste”. It’s not a caution, or a health warning, but advice that the consumer gets the best out of the product. Depending on your personal preference, you can add water to get the taste you enjoy best. And like millions of others, I dilute to enjoy.

Religion is a bit like that. Especially the way society sees it. The true flavour is often happily diluted to the taste of the user. Where this is a good thing in the example of my Orange Juice, it most certainly is not a good idea to water down, or dilute, the gospel of salvation in and through Jesus Christ.

Enter as many religious opinions as the world can dilute to taste. That way there is no conviction of our sin or need of a Saviour. No requirement to change our way of life or rethink some of the lifestyles being accepted as ‘christian’ when they are clearly not. The Word of God can be diluted and watered down to such a degree that we lose the ‘taste’ of the original. It is good for me, so it must be ok. Have you heard these words when talking about Christianity? You will then know that any sin or lifestyle can be excused when the original has been diluted to their particular taste.

Unfortunately, you may also find that the gospel of Jesus Christ can be diluted to taste both inside and outside the church.

Speak Up or Shut Up?

Speak up, or shut up? It’s not always clear what we should do. Something is weighing on your mind, but saying it out loud could be risky, so the better choice might be to stay quiet. At least for the time being, or maybe always. In one sense the issue justifies and warrants being said, but you know there will be collateral damage as a result. No one likes personal damage, especially if it affects other innocent bystanders who are your friends.

Taking the Bible at face value doesn’t always hold the answer. After all we are told to: Speak the truth in love, confront the false teachers, and yet speak gently, we have a warning in Proverbs 17:28 “Even fools are thought to be wise when they keep silent” and in Ecclesiastes 3:7b “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak”. So what to do?

I think God gave us a heart and a head to use in balance for each individual situation because every case is different, just as every person is different. The wisdom of Solomon is needed, and we get encouraged in James 1:5 with the promise: If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. The crux of the matter lies in this verse. Asking means praying, so we pray for guidance each and every time we need to know whether to speak up or shut up.

Other than getting closer to our loving Father, guess what happens when you are praying about the thing that’s weighing on your mind? Nothing! Yes nothing, because when you are in prayer you are not shouting, or shooting from the hip. You are not even trying to make excuses or give reasons for your dilemma. As the old phrase says, “silence is golden”, so now you have some much needed time to think carefully about the ripple effect of your words if you still decide to speak up. Up until this point, there has been no speaking harshly, or awkward deliberate silence. Only then I believe we will be in the right position to finally decide whether to speak up, or shut up!

Open Wide

Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge.                 Proverbs 3:5 ERV

The stronger the prescribed medication, the greater the warning to follow the instructions carefully, not to exceed the dosage, or refrain from driving, and the list of cautions go on. However, when you buy something for the sniffles over the pharmacy counter, your relief might come with the words, “take as required”.

You feel unwell and you want to get better, so you make an appointment with your local doctor. You trust him or her to treat your symptoms correctly and prescribe the medication to make the sickness go away. The instructions clearly say, “Take after a meal”, so that’s what you do. Why? Because you trust the advice given and you want to get better.

Why then, do we get the idea that we know better than the Great Physician when it comes to the welfare of our souls? The necessary medication, tailored to our own need, might be: Read the Bible more, but we ease back. Find more time to pray, but we ignore the advice. Make sure you get to church each Sunday to worship, but we don’t always like the way they do it any more so we watch a service on TV instead. Get the picture?

The Bible as the Word of God is full of good advice about how best to be healthy believers. Our sin sick souls deserve no less, so it is important that we follow the Great Physician’s advice. After all, because God is fully qualified in this field, and we can trust Him fully! We probably heard the best advice in Sunday School when we sung the chorus, “Read your Bible, pray every day, and you’ll grow, grow, grow”. Somehow we think these children’s songs no longer apply. How wrong we are! As our earthly dad would say, “open wide and take your medicine, it’s good for you”. So too says our heavenly Father! Amen.

Investment

Imagine for a moment you are in the fortunate position of receiving a large windfall of unearned, unexpected cash in the order of a few million pounds or dollars. Who cares at the accuracy of that figure? I know it may not be likely, so I did say ‘imagine’!! Let your mind free wheel for a minute. What’s the first thing you would want to do? I don’t know about you, but I would want to be sure I didn’t waste it, or worse still, lose it.

You suddenly become very attached to your windfall, and instead of it being some theoretical exercise, it becomes so real that you want to protect your investment. But wait a minute, this only becomes an investment when you decide to make it one. You have never had anything like this in your life, and you know it will only happen this one time. So you are very protective, and rightly so. You and I would be very strange people if we didn’t care. We become excited and want to do some good with all this money. You can help disadvantaged children. You could help advance medical science and research. You could make sure your family never want for anything in their lives.

The truth is you and I have already been offered a gift of unimaginable wealth. We didn’t earn it or work for it, and we accepted it. Being a gift, it was free. All we have to do is reach out and take it. But there are many people who do not trust a free gift like this one because there might be a hidden catch. So the gift is not able to help you, or anyone else. Our great gift makes the biggest change in our life we could imagine. Except this time we don’t have to imagine. This gift of life from God is something we can own when we accept it. Salvation is not a pipe dream. Once we have accepted this free gift, we can help pass on our excitement and thankfulness to others. You wouldn’t stay quiet with a few million pounds in the investment fund, so why do we stay quiet when we have the guarantee of this amazing gift from the greatest and trusted source in reality?

Unforgiveness?

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34 NIV

This verse is normally used to emphasise the forgiving nature of God, and I am so very thankful that we have a loving God who forgives when we don’t deserve it. That is grace personified in the Lord Jesus. Can I ask you to bear with me as I take a different angle on this verse?

Jesus was being abused by His accusers in a way that we would see as horrific, and yet they were forgiven even though they didn’t ask for it. Why? I suggest it is because they “did not know what they were doing”. That’s the part that caught my attention, making me feel better and yet worse about our sins. Jesus forgave BECAUSE they didn’t know the significance of what they were doing. I suggest it follows that we cannot and indeed will not be forgiven if we DO KNOW we are doing wrong, and sin anyway.

Susanna Wesley, the praying mother of John and Charles defined sin this way: “Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, takes off your relish for spiritual things, whatever increases the authority of the body over the mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may seem in itself.”

You and I must be very careful in our actions and behaviour because once we KNOW what we are doing is wrong, we may NOT BE FORGIVEN because we have known the truth of the gospel and turned our back on it. That is good news for the many who have never heard the gospel, but it is not good news for those of us who have heard and rejected it. It’s one thing for the Wesleys to believe this, but Jesus says the same thing in His own words, so we must be very careful when we recognise the truth of the gospel…..

Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62 ESV

Externals

Every few weeks I get to meet up with some friends for a coffee and a blether. We cover just about any subject and in the space of a couple of hours can set the world to rights, no matter the troubles. These are very light hearted times and not usually too serious, but get to know each other better every time even though we all go back many years. This past week was such a time.

Politics and the state of the world are fair game and are in our sights most times. I wonder how much attention we pay to the overall state of our nation? You can substitute your own country and I’m sure it will be pretty much the same, with all the same problems which need solutions. Our politicians do try, but don’t always get it right with our major issues like:

Drug use and addiction is increasing at an alarming rate, and although it is debated a lot, we don’t seem to be closer to a solution. We all know it’s not a good thing to be hooked on drugs, but since we can’t stop it happening, the answer seems to be to allow it, decriminalise hard drugs and not prosecute offenders. After all, they are victims too. If you can’t fix it, then make it legal!

Crime is at an all time high and linked to unemployment, poverty, and a bad childhood. We need to find someone or something to blame and we do a pretty good job at that. We find reasons to sympathise with the criminal while the victims are left behind.

Terrorism is rife, and without naming names or sections of society, we all agree it is a major problem but we don’t want to tackle it head on. So we go round in circles making suggestions that it’s not really their fault if someone has radicalised them to believe they are doing good in the long run, and if anything happens to them, their family will be provided for. We don’t want to upset any group unnecessarily, so we stay silent to the obvious truth.

After talking about this for a while, one of the men said something like this which brought a silence to our table. “The further we get from the commandments of the Bible, the worse society becomes, and that’s because we (the 'good' part of society) have also moved away from the importance of the Bible.” On this occasion, we could not disagree. The real problem wasn’t and isn’t what’s wrong with society. It’s what has happened to change us as a whole? Our community and therefore our nation has moved away from the laws of God, and we no longer live our lives in a Bible believing manner. We have changed on the inside, and that has affected our attitudes to wrong behaviour. Get the inside right, and the other problems will follow.

We used to have a name for that internal intention to do wrong. Oh yes, we called it ‘sin’, but we’re better than that now, aren’t we? Talk of sin is old fashioned. Our communities and societies have moved on for the good of us all, and we are better for it, aren’t we? Let’s leave the Bible to have the last word, and see what it says…. Case closed I fear!

The human heart is most deceitful and desperately wicked. Jeremiah 17:9 NLT

Old Dog - New Tricks

You know how the old saying goes: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” and it may be true for some, but I would suggest that ‘Old dogs’ (like me) would sometimes do well to go back and relearn some of those ‘old tricks’ we had once known and mastered many years before. Tradesmen use the term: “Measure twice, cut once” and the sense is obvious. You can’t undo the cut.

In general, older, more mature folks find it more difficult to adapt to change or learn new things. That could be why they are the hardest group to convince of new ideas in a church setting. But let’s be kind. Older folks have also been around the block a few times, and they have already seen some well meant changes that didn’t succeed. In fact the more appropriate phrase “crash and burn” comes to mind, and in the effort to avoid it happening again, along with the loss of some good friends and members, they are loathe to go down that road again until they are sure of success. A big part of this reluctance lies behind the definition of ‘success’. It is going to take a good argument, and a gentle push for that to happen a second time.

One of the best lessons I learned in life, was to wait a second or two before giving my first answer in response to a question. Especially one that pushes my buttons and gets my dander up. It happens. Right? And nowhere more so than on social media because each side is safely tucked behind their laptop or phone screen. Blind to the prospect of the return salvo which causes more harm than good. Sure, you got it out of your system, but the one who responds sees it as more than that. They may see it as a personal slight. Of the hundreds of people who would see the offending post, that one person will see it as deliberately aimed at them. Sadly, we were not one step ahead in our thinking when we pressed the ‘send’ button, and a few seconds of serious thought could have avoided the ‘atmosphere’ now descending on your relationship.

The lesson? Whether personally, or in a group, measure twice, and cut once!

TMI

It seems to be happening all the time. More and more often I am reading something, usually online on social media, like Facebook, and I get a sudden urge to shout at the screen ENOUGH, ALREADY! This doesn’t usually happen in a face to face conversation where people are accountable, but when hidden behind a keyboard or screen of some kind? Well folks are a bit crazy sometimes.

It’s almost as if the talker wants me/us to recognise that they are worth their words, and need to be listened to, because they struggle with not being taken seriously most of the time, and they don’t like living in the background. Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:37 ring true in more than the one obvious way when He says: “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.”

We don’t need to add that extra ‘edgy’, or ‘juicy’, detail to the story we are telling to catch attention. Better to keep it brief, and to the point. That way we cannot be misunderstood, misquoted, but most of all I don’t have to scream at my computer, “Too Much Information”! (TMI). May God prevent me from doing the same thing to others!

God.Loves.You.

You have heard these words often, but to a young teenage girl, born into a dysfunctional family, living in the wrong side of town, they were the words which were the catalyst for decisions that affected her life, and those of many others. She heard the words from a respected and trusted Godly lady, but instead of hearing the word ‘you’, she recognised the words ‘God Loves me’. It wasn’t too long after that exchange that this little urchin fell into the grace of God, and the love that was hers to claim.

At the time, these words were spoken in general to a group of girls at a church club, not as a sermon or gospel message, but in open conversation. This older lady had a motley group of girls in her care just once a week, and she loved every one, and coveted them for the Lord. The others in the group also heard the same words, but this time, and for this teenager, these words were for her, and as though spoken to her alone.

She was one of a large family who had serious social problems, and as the oldest girl had many responsibilities placed on her young shoulders, to her siblings and for her parents, and yet she still loved them all. You could say that she was a modern day Cinderella, but she wasn’t looking for a golden carriage, or a handsome prince because she had found her Lord and Saviour, and that made everything she did worthwhile, and so she carried her duties with a generous smile. Oh what a smile!

Both of the ladies in this story are now in heaven, reaping their just rewards for lives lived for the glory of the God who loved them and accepted them as they were, but who went ahead and changed them from the inside out. I would like to think that eventually the younger girl did meet her prince, get married, live happily, and show her own family, and in turn their families, the loving Christ centred life she never experienced as a child. The legacy of both Godly women live on to this day in the hearts and minds of their families and friends to the first and second generations.

When you speak the words of God’s love, you do not know the impact they will have on a receptive heart, resulting in a Godly influence on others for the duration of their lives. The young teenager who heard those words which changed her life, cannot speak for herself, but those who were touched by her life can. She died as she lived, in the safety of the love of God. Her God. And all because she heard the words, “God.Loves.You”. She was more than happy to live and love the Words in 1 Peter 4:7,8: “The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Can you call Him your God too? Has He covered your sins by His love? Her little Sunday School Bible was tear stained around some of her favourite verses in John 14:1-3 where we are all assured: “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” That promise has now been claimed, and her reward is being reaped now and forever in Glory along with all those who have gone before, and yes, the ones who will join her and their Saviour for eternity. Amen and Amen to that promise.