Stay In Touch

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy6:5-7NIV

One of the things which sets us apart from the other parts of creation, is that we can communicate by language. We are now finding that some other animals can make sounds which are interpreted in some way by others in their species. For our Creator God to give us this gift, suggests that He sees it as important. God gives us instructions to talk to our families, especially as we convey the commandments and love of God.

Since communication is important, why do we resist the many ways we have available to do just that? It seems that some don’t want to talk unless it is face to face. Ok, I hear you saying that this verse is only speaking about a face to face conversation, but in that day this was the only way to communicate! Is that really a reason for us to avoid any of the modern means of communication? I have come across those who would use the landline phone, but don’t ask them to use a mobile phone, or forbid even send a text! Given that attitude, there is no chance of them adopting any of the other social media methods of being in touch. Yes, it’s also about staying in touch as well as just talking.

Now, before you start to shout at me, I know that social media usage does not come naturally to some people, but then I can remember the first party line dial phones in our street, and they were a mystery to many too, and avoided by some at the beginning. There were even pastors who preached against their place in our homes and lives along with the advent of Television. We have moved on since then, and just about everyone has a landline phone, and a TV. Is it possible that the same thing will happen to the acceptance and use of the smartphone, and with it the general embrace of better communications through social media? Why would we all not want to have the best and fastest way to be in touch with those we love, and those we need? Like family and friends, doctors, hospitals, emergency services, pastors, and others you could add. Here’s a wee thought: Why not learn to accept this benefit and instead of resisting and complaining about it, use it for good? As I often say, “just thinking out loud!”

'The Talk'

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians3:20NIV

It seems that every time someone on radio or TV wants to make their minor point to a wider audience, they say things like: Let’s have that conversation, or We need to talk about this, or Have you had the chat with your kids yet?

Apparently, the latest ‘talk fad’ to have with your young children revolves around checking or asking if they are happy as a boy or girl, and opening up the subject, ever so gently of course, that Johnny might feel happier as Jenny, and vice versa. Therefore the whole minefield of gender identity is raised with a 6 year old, ever so gently again of course.

Who are we kidding? How were our leaders brought round to thinking this was a good thing? I find it hard to believe they are quite so daft, but maybe this makes the point for me. The “let’s talk about this” culture has now dropped into our pre-school children’s lives, and we can only lay the blame at their parents door. Personal story: a 3 year old managed to climb up on the dining room chair, and from there onto the table while mum was distracted talking. Mum takes the situation in hand by suggesting this is not a safe place to be, and would she like to come down? Then added the thought that the toddler could scuff her new shoes. This conversation took place between an unhappy 3 year old on top of a polished dining table, and an adult who hadn’t covered this situation in her “self help” book. What? You think I’m joking??

This “Let’s talk this through” phenomena with a toddler seems to be growing, and I can’t help but wonder why? Are parents (sorry but it’s usually mums) so afraid to be direct with their children that the poor kid might be scarred for life, or perish the thought, even offended? Do the parents want to abdicate responsibility, and just become best buddies? Do we now view our toddlers as ‘little adults’, so treat them as such?

Let me be open here. Don’t these offenders (the parents, not the children) see how stupid they look to others as they try to (ever so gently of course) discuss and reason their child out of wilful damage, sheer bad manners, or even bad tempered disrespect? I am glad I was brought up to respect and love my parents, and it wasn’t because they treated me as an equal. They were the parents, but more importantly, I was brought up to know it. You may think I am out of order, but I can’t help but wonder what would happen if our nation needed to invoke military service, or conscription? We would be depending on this entitled generation to protect us all from a violent, destructive, and single minded enemy. We may as well wave the white flag right away, and ask if they want to chat over a cup of tea. Far fetched? You think so??

Just Talk?

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy6:6-7NIV

Our biggest, best, and most important mission field is our family. Not the world, or the nation, or even the community, all of which are important, but not as significant as our children. The biggest influence on any child is their mum and dad, especially in their younger formative years, so what are we doing about it?

I don’t know about your church fellowship, but I was used to missionary meetings which always featured brave men and women who left home and family to take the gospel to the poor tribes in the third world. What amazing stories they told, but every convert was a tough challenge, and certainly not easy. Going into a culture which is contrary to the Christian Gospel, and going against the grain for every convert is not easy and every one should be commended.

We are not all called to be missionaries, preachers, or teachers, but every parent has the ability to tell their children about the love of God, and better still, they can show that love first hand. The impact is clear and unmistakeable, and our verse shows the importance. But why do it at all? Taking the following verses in context shows God’s heart and intention for using the family unit as the mission field that most adults can identify with, and He gives us good reason to talk so that we don’t forget the Lord. Just talk with your family, and walk the talk!

When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you – a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant – then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. Deuteronomy6:10-12NIV

Speak Up or Shut Up?

Speak up, or shut up? It’s not always clear what we should do. Something is weighing on your mind, but saying it out loud could be risky, so the better choice might be to stay quiet. At least for the time being, or maybe always. In one sense the issue justifies and warrants being said, but you know there will be collateral damage as a result. No one likes personal damage, especially if it affects other innocent bystanders who are your friends.

Taking the Bible at face value doesn’t always hold the answer. After all we are told to: Speak the truth in love, confront the false teachers, and yet speak gently, we have a warning in Proverbs 17:28 “Even fools are thought to be wise when they keep silent” and in Ecclesiastes 3:7b “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak”. So what to do?

I think God gave us a heart and a head to use in balance for each individual situation because every case is different, just as every person is different. The wisdom of Solomon is needed, and we get encouraged in James 1:5 with the promise: If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. The crux of the matter lies in this verse. Asking means praying, so we pray for guidance each and every time we need to know whether to speak up or shut up.

Other than getting closer to our loving Father, guess what happens when you are praying about the thing that’s weighing on your mind? Nothing! Yes nothing, because when you are in prayer you are not shouting, or shooting from the hip. You are not even trying to make excuses or give reasons for your dilemma. As the old phrase says, “silence is golden”, so now you have some much needed time to think carefully about the ripple effect of your words if you still decide to speak up. Up until this point, there has been no speaking harshly, or awkward deliberate silence. Only then I believe we will be in the right position to finally decide whether to speak up, or shut up!

Nearly

Having been around churches of various denominations throughout my life, I can usually recognise the differences, and even appreciate the things that separate us in theology and practice. I’m not going to argue that we have more in common, than that which separates us, but make another observation which has been growing in my mind over the recent past.

The one thing we all share, is the life changing gospel of Jesus Christ. Or it should be a
common thread running through all evangelicals to some degree.

It concerns me that we are becoming ever better at talking about what the gospel is,
than we are at preaching it. We have become clever and intelligent as we learn more
about Bible times, and how the early disciples changed the world. Armed with this great
knowledge, why do we not preach the gospel instead of talking about it? I see a real
and fundamental difference, and in this case ‘nearly’ is not good enough for all and
any of the mainstream church denomination family.

I well remember the induction service of a new pastor, and an old saintly pastor,
close to retirement after many good years in the pulpit say to the new minister, “The
pulpit is not here to have a conversation with your congregation, it is here to preach
the Gospel”. The words were spoken many years ago, are true today, and nearly
is still not good enough.

Walter Mitty

Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. James 1:8 NLT

Walter Mitty is a fictional character who lives in a dream world. One in which he is far removed from the mild mannered person he really is. In fact his real life and his hidden life are very far distant from each other, but it’s only a bit of fun, isn’t it, and quite harmless?

The Bible tells us that we are in great danger if our loyalty is divided between God and the world. Yes, we must be in the world, but not of the world. If our loyalty to God is not divided and is clear, we are stable in everything we do. Did you catch that? When our loyalty to God is undivided, we are stable in everything else we do!

Jesus had stern words for the church leaders of His day, and He described them as whitewashed tombs. Clean in appearance on the outside, but inside it’s a different matter. Full of death. We say it another way nowadays and it is every bit as clear.. We must “walk the walk, and talk the talk”. How else will the others around us know which part of us is the real, or greater part if we are divided? Who we say we are, or who we really are?

Are we playing the character of Walter Mitty with spiritual things? Good and pure during a Sunday, but no different than our worldly friends Monday to Saturday? Do you really think they don’t notice? Whether they say it or not, they have already made up their minds if we are loyal and stable. I pray we are up to the challenge, because unlike Walter Mitty, that’s certainly not harmless either to ourselves, or the witness to our friends. It has eternal consequences.

Common Sense?

Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure no immoral, impure or greedy person... has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Ephesians 5:4,5

These are powerful verses if we take them seriously, and I hope we do. I don’t like it when it happens, and I know I have been guilty of speaking out of turn in no small measure in the past, but when it comes from a trusted and senior source within the body of the general church of Christ, it seems worse. Maybe I am using a harsh measuring stick in judgement, or maybe I am taking these verses too literally. Is that possible?

It’s Facebook again. Or to be more accurate, it’s the use of Facebook by the person on the typewriter, tablet, or phone. It’s not Facebook, or the device, it’s the individual and I think it may be an insight into their heart. It’s not easy to hold on to our common sense on social media sometimes, but if we are going to be true to Jesus Christ, the person we believe in, and call ourselves by His name, we must guard our talk.

People are watching us, and we should remember that we can offend. Instead of being an influence for good, we could be unfollowed, blocked, or unfriended and then where is our witness? I’ll tell you. It’s in the place where it has no benefit. Let’s take more care of our talk (and Facebook posts). It’s important because we can do more harm than good.

He Don't Say Much

But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. James 5:12

Wait a minute. Is this verse telling us to be thrifty with our talk, only saying yes and no??

There is an old quote by a comedian about the previous US President Calvin Coolidge, which said “He don’t say a lot, but when he talks, he don’t say a lot”. That’s all well and good, and a nice quote to pass on, but what if you are faced with it in your own conversations? What if you want to know someone a little better because you think they have had an interesting life. Or maybe you have been introduced to a celebrity and you start up a conversation only to find it is one way and you are doing all the talking. Irritating to say the least, and probably infuriating!

We don’t all have the gift of the gab, or been to Blarney to kiss the stone, but really? Does it have to be so much hard work to talk? Most of us can hold a decent chat, even with a stranger we have just met, and there are some folks whose job depends on it. When you see your doctor, you expect him or her to talk so that they can get to the bottom of your ailment. If you are caught speeding or shoplifting, you need your lawyer to put forward a good defence to the judge. A fundamental skill of a hospital nurse is to talk to ease your worry and therefore speed your treatment and recovery. On a lighter note, you come home hiding a secret from your wife. It may be a nice surprise, but do you really think she will let you off with a yes, no, maybe and ok? I didn’t think so.

Why then is it not evident to the one you are speaking with when they respond in monosyllabic words, without even trying to make conversation? For a start it’s rude, and it does nothing for the intention you have of breaking the ice, or getting to know them better. In fact, you are turned off, and there is less chance you will get caught that way again, so you avoid chat altogether, and only indulge when placed in a situation you can’t avoid. As I think about it, I am smiling because you will be the one that’s embarrassed, not the person with no communication skills. And at the end of the day, that is what it is, communication. We learn it in Nursery, and hone the skill through school until you have it covered. Apparently there are some who have not been to that particular school of life, and I don’t know if I should be annoyed with them, or feel some pity. The problem is I can’t ask them!!! As Christians I believe we are expected to be able to talk, to communicate even at a basic level. So, does the Bible say anything about our God given gift of communication? It does, so how about these good words for starters…..

Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. Isaiah 1:18

In your hearts honour Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defence to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect

1 Peter 3:15

The Journey - Alone in a Crowd

In any walking group, there will always be that one person not walking with the rest, but slightly off to one side, and not really a part of the main conversations. They will have signed up for the walk, probably for the fresh air and exercise, but there is not much interaction with the others. In fact, they will have real friends in that group, but some will walk alone. Are they being antisocial? Rude? Or maybe they don’t relate well to the route or the small talk? Whatever we think of their actions, let’s not be too harsh on them or rush to judgement.

It is possible to be lonely in a crowd, and even within a group of good friends. The reasons can be many and varied, but at the core there is a human being feeling very much on their own. Perhaps due to a recently diagnosed illness of a family member or even themselves, or maybe due to the raw memory of an anniversary which was life changing and one that may have happened years ago. Sometimes both good and bad memories have the same effect of us wanting to step outside the group for a while.

Christmas is a happy time for families, and groups of friends, and it is the season for church fellowship evenings, when fun and laughter is the normal and expected fare. As walkers on the journey of life, in a strange way, this can be almost unbearable for some good Christian folks. Yes even those who value their faith completely and sincerely, and are well aware of the significance of the baby in the manger. If you see, or suspect some friend struggle with the season, why not draw alongside? Not to speak nice words of comfort or wisdom, but just to show without a lot of speaking that you care. That can mean the difference between a bad Christmas, and a bearable Christmas to your friend.

The Lord is close to those who have suffered disappointment. He saves those who are discouraged. Good people might have many problems, but the Lord will take them all away. Psalm 34:18,19

Loose Talk

Recently I posted a piece on ‘Loose Living’ and in the days after this, I have had cause to pull myself up on loose talk. Not coarse or bad language, but talking and responding in such a way that does not show the right ‘Christ-like’ spirit. If you use any of the social media platforms, the chances are that you will find yourself printing something you would never say to anyone face to face. We all know the verse, “When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you.” Ephesians 4:29

In Scotland we live in a society and culture where a form of sarcasm is considered normal banter, even between Christians, but as others look on, is it the best way to behave? Mark 9:42 says, “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.”

The thing that pulled me up short was the fact that on some social mediums, although a bit of light(?) sarcasm can pass between friends, there are other young in the faith folks who look on, and that way of talking can be a bad example and a stumbling block. Is that what we really want? The words of Jesus are a very strong warning against loose talk in any of its forms, and I don’t want to be remembered for that characteristic. Let good, wholesome, clean fun begin!

Credibility

There has been a wee stooshie growing in the UK, as the main political parties tried to agree a very difficult piece of law. The Lord Leveson report on media freedom while protecting individuals who have previously suffered at the hands of the press, will not happen again. At least that is the aim.

A number of years ago, I heard a minister on the radio describe himself as a ‘wordsmith’ and the term has stuck with me ever since. The one thing we all have in common, whether politicians, doctors, pastors, or ordinary people like you and me, in their day to day dealings, is words. With our words we can build up or bring down our fellow human beings. We can encourage, or discourage. We can heal or bruise. Sometimes we use the wrong words by mistake, and when that happens we bite our tongues, say sorry, and usually the thoughtless words are forgiven and made right. Sometimes, however, our words are deliberately chosen to make a point, and no matter what other words are used to mitigate them, the marks are left behind.

I am reminded of the dad who was trying to teach his son to be careful with his words, and to make the point, he hammered some nails into a tree stump, and explained that with the love and forgiveness of God, the nails can be removed. To explain that point, he took a tool and removed the nails from the tree stump, showing how God can help us make things right. His son thought for a while and in innocent wisdom said, “but the marks are still there”.

A certain generation will remember the Bee Gees, and their song ‘Words’ which has this line: “It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away”. My point?Let us all be careful with our words, and not only that, but how our words are spoken. We are all required to be ‘wordsmiths’ to encourage those we meet. As the Psalmist said:

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14 KJV

How Come?

With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? James 3:9-11 NKJV

We would say, “How come”? The Bible says “These things ought not to be so”, but the meaning is clear and the same. How come we hear good and bad from the same person? How come there is so much positive and negative from the same lips? How come we hear prayers and gossip from the same mouth? But wait a minute. Hold on there, James is speaking to fellow Christians who share the name of Jesus. It was like that then, and it is no different today. When it comes to the tongue, we have not learned very much have we?

By way of some explanation, I am very aware that there are young Christians who will learn the teachings of the gospel, and may have come from a very different and difficult background. They have a path to walk which is not the same as someone who has borne the name of Jesus for many years, and is known as a ‘christian’. Can I suggest that such a person does much harm to their witness, and the witness of the church by not guarding their mouth? Before you respond, I recognise there is a difference between the slip of the tongue, and the almost ‘expected and normal’ use of their coarse language, or even when it is written down in a public social media forum for all to see.

Yes I am guilty of saying things I shouldn’t, but I pray I will never be seen as a poor mirror to the sunshine of God’s love by my talk, language or life. And yes, I also have to work on my impatience with the mature believer who still cannot bridle their tongue. Guilty as charged!