Have you been embarrassed recently? I mean, seriously embarrassed? I suggest that we have all suffered this indignity at some point in our lives, and survived, but it was probably a painful time. The experience is a two way street, because we can either be the source of embarrassment to others, or on the receiving end from someone who perhaps didn’t mean to cause offence. And let’s face it, in both situations embarrassment can cause offence.
There is a third way where we can be embarrassed on behalf of someone else who may, or may not, be aware of your thoughts or feelings as you try to defend them. I would suggest that this feeling on behalf of another, is the hardest type to bear. Ok, I hear you ask for an example of this third kind.
Imagine you have been an integral part of a well run medical or sports team, and you have been in that position for some years before sickness struck and you could no longer hold your position for a short time. So far so good, and I can hear you now say, well, so what? That’s life! But it’s not over yet. Keep your imagination motor running. That group of people are an important part of your life, and you don’t like to hear anyone bad-mouth them, even if it was not meant to be offensive or hurtful!
That protective attitude remains with you, even though very few (if anyone!) from your team either visits or calls, to see how you are doing. That is bad enough, and it hurts, but it really pains when someone else on the sideline asks you directly if your doctor, nurse, or coach has visited, phoned, or been in touch? It is obviously embarrassing as you try to defend them. How do you defend the indefensible after some weeks of a time lapse?
In a similar way could this be one of the reasons that we also lose some good folks from our churches? In other words, we (and I include myself in this) don’t care enough when it really matters to that hurting member? Added to that, there is a clear interest from members of another church group who really are concerned, and let you know it. Would that be enough to make you change your present team, or even your church? Ouch!
The aim is to provide a stimulating mix of personal opinions (from a mainstream Christian worldview), and associated comments, which will be accepted and published if they comply with the usual courtesy and decency.
Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts
Friday, 15 February 2019
Thursday, 23 August 2018
Worrying Time
You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. Matthew 6:27 ERV
It started off as a slight concern, and has now gone through all the following stages until it has become a full blown anxiety. I know this verse and have quoted it often as a way to defuse other people’s fears and worries, but…. Well that’s the problem, it’s the word BUT!! What about now? What about my fears? My suspicions? What if I do nothing, and something bad happens to a loved one this time? How could I possibly live with myself?
Harm comes in many forms and from many sources, but one that doesn’t get much airtime is the harm that affects the eternal destiny of the harmed one(s). Can I afford to play along and pretend all is well, when I am growing more and more uncertain that all really is well? For me, it has changed from a game of hide and seek, to one of hide and hide and hide again.
Meanwhile we all play our part in the theatre of life. The ones who harm, the ones harmed, and those watching from the gallery. In truth there are almost certainly more than a few who see the signs, question the life and lifestyle of the harmer, and still don’t know what to do that would solve the problem, or even reduce the harm done. It is difficult not to worry about the ones you love, and that makes it hurt!
It started off as a slight concern, and has now gone through all the following stages until it has become a full blown anxiety. I know this verse and have quoted it often as a way to defuse other people’s fears and worries, but…. Well that’s the problem, it’s the word BUT!! What about now? What about my fears? My suspicions? What if I do nothing, and something bad happens to a loved one this time? How could I possibly live with myself?
Harm comes in many forms and from many sources, but one that doesn’t get much airtime is the harm that affects the eternal destiny of the harmed one(s). Can I afford to play along and pretend all is well, when I am growing more and more uncertain that all really is well? For me, it has changed from a game of hide and seek, to one of hide and hide and hide again.
Meanwhile we all play our part in the theatre of life. The ones who harm, the ones harmed, and those watching from the gallery. In truth there are almost certainly more than a few who see the signs, question the life and lifestyle of the harmer, and still don’t know what to do that would solve the problem, or even reduce the harm done. It is difficult not to worry about the ones you love, and that makes it hurt!
Monday, 6 August 2018
Suffering Well
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 ESV
My first thoughts after reading this is: Just who is Paul kidding? Not us, right? Rejoice when we are suffering? Sure Paul, but I don’t think so. Somebody else maybe, but not me!
Right after that first hasty thought I had to pull myself up, stop, and take a deep breath while remembering a scene at a hospital bed many years before. I had a boys’ Sunday School class, and those days were ones of learning, certainly for me and I hoped for the lives which were in my Spiritual care too. That responsibility was taken very seriously, with much study and prayer. All of those lads became an extension to my own life.
A few short years after one of ‘my boys’ had left the class, he suffered a few terrible medical conditions which changed the course of his life. During part of the time he was in hospital I visited with my wife during regular visiting hours along with his mum and dad, our dear friends. Those were hard and long days. My place of work was not too far away, so sometimes I would take an extended break to visit on my own. David won’t remember all of these visits, but they are etched in my mind.
I am only telling you this to set the scene for a particular visit when the patient was asleep, and I struggled to find something to say or pray. I pulled the New Testament from my pocket, found this verse and read it out loud, thinking that he could possibly hear, even though asleep. I felt led to this passage, but it didn’t make sense to me at the time. With a lot of prayer from family and friends, he pulled through in an amazing manner.
Roll forward a few years, and this same young man is now an adult with numerous academic qualifications, and a university lecturer into the bargain. Who would have thought that the very condition which almost ‘floored’ him was the catalyst which made this determined child of God steel himself to prepare for the rest of his life. A life that the doctors said he wouldn’t have, and he proved them wrong. So this verse rings louder and clearer in my ears and heart now, as a reminder that God’s Will and Word is true and for keeps. I understand these words better now than I did all those years before where it says …we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Circumstances have changed for the worse once again for my now adult friend, and I have to believe the truth of this verse applies every bit as much now, as it did all those years ago. Lord Jesus, in everything that affects us, keep us faithful and believing.
My first thoughts after reading this is: Just who is Paul kidding? Not us, right? Rejoice when we are suffering? Sure Paul, but I don’t think so. Somebody else maybe, but not me!
Right after that first hasty thought I had to pull myself up, stop, and take a deep breath while remembering a scene at a hospital bed many years before. I had a boys’ Sunday School class, and those days were ones of learning, certainly for me and I hoped for the lives which were in my Spiritual care too. That responsibility was taken very seriously, with much study and prayer. All of those lads became an extension to my own life.
A few short years after one of ‘my boys’ had left the class, he suffered a few terrible medical conditions which changed the course of his life. During part of the time he was in hospital I visited with my wife during regular visiting hours along with his mum and dad, our dear friends. Those were hard and long days. My place of work was not too far away, so sometimes I would take an extended break to visit on my own. David won’t remember all of these visits, but they are etched in my mind.
I am only telling you this to set the scene for a particular visit when the patient was asleep, and I struggled to find something to say or pray. I pulled the New Testament from my pocket, found this verse and read it out loud, thinking that he could possibly hear, even though asleep. I felt led to this passage, but it didn’t make sense to me at the time. With a lot of prayer from family and friends, he pulled through in an amazing manner.
Roll forward a few years, and this same young man is now an adult with numerous academic qualifications, and a university lecturer into the bargain. Who would have thought that the very condition which almost ‘floored’ him was the catalyst which made this determined child of God steel himself to prepare for the rest of his life. A life that the doctors said he wouldn’t have, and he proved them wrong. So this verse rings louder and clearer in my ears and heart now, as a reminder that God’s Will and Word is true and for keeps. I understand these words better now than I did all those years before where it says …we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Circumstances have changed for the worse once again for my now adult friend, and I have to believe the truth of this verse applies every bit as much now, as it did all those years ago. Lord Jesus, in everything that affects us, keep us faithful and believing.
Saturday, 14 July 2018
Hurts You or Me More?
In the not so dim and distant past when good parents actually administered a little chastisement to their children when they were naughty, or in danger, or to teach one of life’s lessons, the parent would be heard to say, “this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you”. Perhaps you have heard those words, and perhaps you were one of those parents. And you meant it for good! Smacking your child, right or wrong? The debate continues!
Of course the offending phrase can and does apply to more than a physical smack. It can hurt us emotionally and even spiritually when as adults we find ourselves in the position of doling out an unexpected ‘correction/smack’ to another adult, even though it might be kept within our own head. This outflow usually comes in the form of a word or words to show our displeasure with things said and done by someone held in esteem, and now we think they may need to know how we feel. This will only, ever, be done after a lot of heart searching and always with a heavy heart.
The outcome, unlike with your child, is always irreversible. There can be no going back because you, the younger in authority, are telling the one(s) in greater Christian maturity and authority that you don’t accept or agree with something they have said or done. Something they see nothing wrong with, but you most certainly do! When the words are out, they cannot be taken back, and they always come with consequences.
In serious and extreme situations, this troublesome correction will mean a friendship is scarred, broken, or perhaps lost. In a church situation where the witness of the church or a person is undermined, it may result in the parting of company. I wish it could be otherwise, but because these things are usually left so late in the day, no other result is likely.
Of course the offending phrase can and does apply to more than a physical smack. It can hurt us emotionally and even spiritually when as adults we find ourselves in the position of doling out an unexpected ‘correction/smack’ to another adult, even though it might be kept within our own head. This outflow usually comes in the form of a word or words to show our displeasure with things said and done by someone held in esteem, and now we think they may need to know how we feel. This will only, ever, be done after a lot of heart searching and always with a heavy heart.
The outcome, unlike with your child, is always irreversible. There can be no going back because you, the younger in authority, are telling the one(s) in greater Christian maturity and authority that you don’t accept or agree with something they have said or done. Something they see nothing wrong with, but you most certainly do! When the words are out, they cannot be taken back, and they always come with consequences.
In serious and extreme situations, this troublesome correction will mean a friendship is scarred, broken, or perhaps lost. In a church situation where the witness of the church or a person is undermined, it may result in the parting of company. I wish it could be otherwise, but because these things are usually left so late in the day, no other result is likely.
Monday, 18 June 2018
The Bully
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 ESV
Sam was always a problem through Primary School, and now into 2nd year of High School nothing had changed. Most of his classmates had come through the school system with him so they knew Sam well, and for that reason he was avoided like the plague. For some reason I seemed to be his primary target and I didn’t know why.
It was during a class field trip that it happened. No one wanted to walk with him as we trekked over the Scottish hillside, so Sam was left at the back of the bunch on his own. We were walking along a narrow, but easily passable and safe path with a steep hill on one side, and an equally steep drop on the other. Sam was messing around trying to make his presence heard as usual, but no one was paying attention. Then he slipped and fell, rolling down the steep grassy slope, his fall only stopped by a large boulder some 20 feet below.
The rest of the class quickly formed a human chain, linked by each hand to get Sam on his feet, and so helped him clamber up the slope to safety. The teacher was impressed, and quite honestly, we were too. He was a bully. No one like him. He was his own worst enemy, and got along with no one. That seemed to make the class action more significant in Sam’s mind. “Whose idea was that?” he asked. At first no one owned up, and then one of the class turned and pointed at me. Yes, it was my idea. In spite of all the horrible things he had said and done to me. I couldn’t see him in pain or danger so I hurriedly arranged to form the human chain, and held the ground at the top as an anchor where he couldn’t see me.
As a direct result of that action, Sam and I formed a close bond of friendship which lasts to this day. It turned out that Sam’s home life was not a happy one, and he was a very unhappy boy who took his frustration out in the only way he knew because he saw it at home.
I wonder what God saw in us when He knew how bad and sinful we were? We gave Him no time, and no reason for Him to like us, but He didn’t push back. He loved us enough to do the only thing that would work. He took our messed up lives to the cross where they were sacrificed along with Him, the one who had never sinned. By dying in our place, He showed us the greatest love that He could and we would ever know.
The question left hanging in the air is, “what will we do about this Jesus?” Will we continue to ignore Him, or form a link straight to the one who not only saved us, but died for us? Either way the choice is ours. There is no third way.
Sam was always a problem through Primary School, and now into 2nd year of High School nothing had changed. Most of his classmates had come through the school system with him so they knew Sam well, and for that reason he was avoided like the plague. For some reason I seemed to be his primary target and I didn’t know why.
It was during a class field trip that it happened. No one wanted to walk with him as we trekked over the Scottish hillside, so Sam was left at the back of the bunch on his own. We were walking along a narrow, but easily passable and safe path with a steep hill on one side, and an equally steep drop on the other. Sam was messing around trying to make his presence heard as usual, but no one was paying attention. Then he slipped and fell, rolling down the steep grassy slope, his fall only stopped by a large boulder some 20 feet below.
The rest of the class quickly formed a human chain, linked by each hand to get Sam on his feet, and so helped him clamber up the slope to safety. The teacher was impressed, and quite honestly, we were too. He was a bully. No one like him. He was his own worst enemy, and got along with no one. That seemed to make the class action more significant in Sam’s mind. “Whose idea was that?” he asked. At first no one owned up, and then one of the class turned and pointed at me. Yes, it was my idea. In spite of all the horrible things he had said and done to me. I couldn’t see him in pain or danger so I hurriedly arranged to form the human chain, and held the ground at the top as an anchor where he couldn’t see me.
As a direct result of that action, Sam and I formed a close bond of friendship which lasts to this day. It turned out that Sam’s home life was not a happy one, and he was a very unhappy boy who took his frustration out in the only way he knew because he saw it at home.
I wonder what God saw in us when He knew how bad and sinful we were? We gave Him no time, and no reason for Him to like us, but He didn’t push back. He loved us enough to do the only thing that would work. He took our messed up lives to the cross where they were sacrificed along with Him, the one who had never sinned. By dying in our place, He showed us the greatest love that He could and we would ever know.
The question left hanging in the air is, “what will we do about this Jesus?” Will we continue to ignore Him, or form a link straight to the one who not only saved us, but died for us? Either way the choice is ours. There is no third way.
Saturday, 26 May 2018
Pain
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18 NIV
Pain is something we all suffer at some point in our life, and some folks carry a much heavier burden and weight of hurt than others. It can feel unfair at times, because we see bad things happen to good people, and health pain being suffered by folks who could well do without it. There seems to be a very unbalanced distribution of who gets a painful medical condition and if was up to us, we would choose differently. Physical pain is hard to bear and usually visible. Many times it just can’t be hidden.
However, I would suggest that even harder to bear is heart or emotional pain. It’s not so visible, but can still hurt deep down where it lies hidden from view, at least from prying, public gaze, and those nosey ones who would love to know what went on in your life to cause it. So, what emotional pains do you and I carry? Could it be the hurt of a lost first love? The loss of a spouse? Infidelity? Not speaking out in defence of a loved one when you should have, and it cost you dearly? Squandering or gambling money away that your family desperately needed? Speaking out of turn when you should have kept your mouth tight shut? Harming a child in some way, and still feeling the shame years later? The list goes on.
When we feel any kind of pain, it is certain that God is near. In the heat of the moment you may not feel that way, but this will be confirmed for you in a little while, and in the testimony of others who have recognised God’s presence and taken His help. After all, we have the assurance from our great God that because you are a Christian you will not avoid pain, but when God walks that painful path with us, it is much easier to handle. Why? Because “God is faithful.”
No testing has overtaken you except ordinary testing. But God is faithful. He will not allow you to be tested beyond your ability, but when he tests you, he will also bring about the outcome that you are able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 EHV
Pain is something we all suffer at some point in our life, and some folks carry a much heavier burden and weight of hurt than others. It can feel unfair at times, because we see bad things happen to good people, and health pain being suffered by folks who could well do without it. There seems to be a very unbalanced distribution of who gets a painful medical condition and if was up to us, we would choose differently. Physical pain is hard to bear and usually visible. Many times it just can’t be hidden.
However, I would suggest that even harder to bear is heart or emotional pain. It’s not so visible, but can still hurt deep down where it lies hidden from view, at least from prying, public gaze, and those nosey ones who would love to know what went on in your life to cause it. So, what emotional pains do you and I carry? Could it be the hurt of a lost first love? The loss of a spouse? Infidelity? Not speaking out in defence of a loved one when you should have, and it cost you dearly? Squandering or gambling money away that your family desperately needed? Speaking out of turn when you should have kept your mouth tight shut? Harming a child in some way, and still feeling the shame years later? The list goes on.
When we feel any kind of pain, it is certain that God is near. In the heat of the moment you may not feel that way, but this will be confirmed for you in a little while, and in the testimony of others who have recognised God’s presence and taken His help. After all, we have the assurance from our great God that because you are a Christian you will not avoid pain, but when God walks that painful path with us, it is much easier to handle. Why? Because “God is faithful.”
No testing has overtaken you except ordinary testing. But God is faithful. He will not allow you to be tested beyond your ability, but when he tests you, he will also bring about the outcome that you are able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 EHV
Sunday, 14 May 2017
Safe Place
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
There is something calming and soothing about this well known verse. Another translation says it like this “God is our safe place and our strength. He is always our help when we are in trouble.” Do you have a safe place? One where you can retreat to, and you won’t be bothered by some of those well meaning people who don’t seem to be able to help, and a bit like Job’s comforters? If we don’t have a physical place, I would hazard a guess that you do it in the recesses of your mind.
We all need a refuge, or as I prefer, a ‘safe place’ where problems can be met head on, without someone saying, “don’t worry it will work out”. I know they mean well, but there are times you need to sort things out on your own because you know in your heart that things will not just ‘work out’ by themselves. Some problems need to be faced, and tackled, not ignored.
It doesn’t matter what age you are, or how clever, we know deep down when a problem has gone on for too long and now has to be encountered and dealt with. No two people are the same, and no two problems are the same. Every person and problem is uniquely personal, and therefore needs our personal attention. This is exactly the time that you and I need that ‘safe place’ where God can be allowed to work and speak into our heart. In the silence of our safe place, we may find that the resolution is in our own hands. Do we need to forgive someone? I don’t mean only to say I’m sorry, but to go that step further and forgive? No one said it would be easy, but it might just be what is needed. Many times it doesn’t matter whose fault it was or who started it, we need to reset our life and relationship. I have found that when I retreat to that quiet place, and God’s will becomes apparent, He does not show me the problems that need resolved in my friend’s life, but shows me the failings that must be addressed in my own. God is good, and so where better to start than in our place of refuge that is God’s safe place?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)