Friendship

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 ESV

There is a distinct difference between a companion and a friend. Who would you trust with your life? What about your family? Would you trust the welfare of your children with a companion or a true friend?

We tend to pick up many friendships along life’s way, but not many true friends. I reckon you could count on one hand the number of trusted friends you have. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to have friendships as they make life go smoother, but much better to enjoy the company of those few real, true, trusted friends who make life glide more smoothly!

If you have such friends, hold them close to your heart. You will always have that person’s best interests, and they, yours. When our verse suggests that your friend sticks closer than a brother, you have the closest of bonds, and that bond will not, and cannot be broken. Take note of the first part of our verse where it says you can have many different companions, but they are not trustworthy, and will bring you to ruin because they will work against each other, supposedly on your behalf and allegedly in your interest. Nothing is closer to the truth. 

Think about those ‘distant friends’ you have and the number of times their good intentions have landed you in trouble. You know the old saying that “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”, and never let yourself be deceived by that friend, like Judas who kisses your cheek while selling you, body and soul, down the river! Learn the lesson before you get badly hurt.

Life teaches us many lessons, but this is one of the toughest to learn, and is usually painful, so take care as you recognise and choose your friends.

Friendship

A man of many companions may come to ruin,but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs18:24ESV

Social media has brought us to think that a friend is someone that is a shallow person we might just like, and if we don’t like them, we can unfriend, unfollow, or even block them from our lives. How low we have dropped in our perception of one of the greatest relationships God has made for us, second only to God Himself, and family.

I have been reminded recently of how God is at work in all aspects of our lives, from our youth right through to our more senior years. This became clearer to me as I recognised one of the important friendships I am blessed to enjoy now, which was rekindled after not being in touch for many years. It is as though that long gap didn’t happen. Circumstances of life change many things, and a loss of a friendship can be significant, but when God is in control, He has already gone before us and laid out the path which is best. That is true for all things, people, and time! We serve an amazing all knowing God who establishes our steps! Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, puts it best in these verses.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. Proverbs16:9NIV

The No-No

It is said that when you are in a discussion with friends, you should never talk about politics or religion. Let’s just say I will try to heed that… but just a little, and hopefully not stray into deep waters. The reason for not speaking about these two subjects is that they can bring out the worst in us as we retreat to the safety of our little corner and shout from there. The underlying reason is quite simple really. If you don’t agree on something at the start, you will not agree at the end, no matter how eloquent the arguments are made on either side. In fact, a perfectly good friendship can be changed forever. In the hope that we will still be friends, let me take the safer of these two ‘no-nos’ and bring up the subject of politics.

The starting point is easy. In politics both sides whether left or right want to live in a better world, and so bring out their plans to make it happen. These manifestos will be identical in some points, similar in others, and diametrically opposed in a few. The trouble is that these last ones tend to be the things we want to talk about, because they are the most interesting and divisive! We are drawn like a moth to the flame. We try, but we can’t keep our mouth shut.

Now here’s the question I want to leave with you. How do you and I react when we differ greatly on a major part of the manifesto, even with our friends?? I guess for the most part, we humour them (and ourselves) and pass it over as just ‘one of those things’, and that is good. But then there are those other times when we differ (and we will) over something which separates us greatly. It’s not so easy to gloss over these ones, and so we enter dangerous ground. If we stay quiet, they will think we have come over to their way, but then if we disagree as strongly as they have made their case, we will probably say too much and jeopardise our relationship. And anyway we argue (to ourselves) we always said we should be open and honest with each other. That openness and honesty can, and will, come with a cost. And there will be more than a political price to pay.

Come to think of it, whether in politics or religion, the dangers and pitfalls are the same. There are times we must make an informed but calculated decision to speak out about those things that separate us within the Christian church, or stay silent in order to keep the peace. Either way, silent or not, there is still a high price to pay with important relationships. Maybe then the old adage is true after all. We don’t talk about religion or politics in ANY open company. The price is huge, and have you noticed that neither side is ever wrong. Bad enough when it’s politics, but unChristlike when it’s religion.

Friends

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34,34

I keep coming back to this verse, and each time for a different reason. The Bible is like that. Full of wisdom upon wisdom, some we catch right away, some lie waiting to be discovered like this time. What did Jesus mean by ‘love one another’? And who was He talking about?

Some of us don’t make friends easily. I don’t mean the surface ‘hello how are you, I’m fine’ kind of friends. I mean the kind that you let in to your personal space. You don’t mind spilling your feelings to, in the full knowledge that they will not laugh or think you are crazy. Always, always, true friendship is two way. For some it started in school and has lasted a lifetime, but for others that true friend may have come in later life.

Jesus wanted His disciples to be true friends to each other, and that would show itself as a selfless love to others. The best friends we can have are those who are of like mind in the faith and lifestyle handed to us by Jesus. Who is your best friend? If you are blessed to have that special person who you don’t mind sharing your personal highs and lows with, you are blessed indeed. Treasure that gift, and don’t take your friend or your friendship for granted. They are most likely God given.