Happysad

My daughter coined the word ‘happysad’ recently which fits in so many ways and places. You will know that as a Christian, I spend a lot of time at church and in the company of other Christians, although I have to say, not exclusively. I enjoy the company of all sorts of people, whether believers or not! So, where does this word ‘happysad’ come in?

The kind of church service I enjoy best involves and includes: reverence without gimmicks, a group of friendly people from all parts of society who make the stranger welcome, hearty congregational singing that lifts the roof, the sound of people whispering an ‘amen’ or even speaking it out loud, a tear wiped away when an eternal truth makes someone emotional by word or song, a tear wiped, a clear Gospel message which leaves the listener challenged to the point of making a life changing decision to follow Jesus more closely, the right hand of fellowship and the occasional hug. I was at such a church service today.

The occasion was made better in the fact that it was not my usual church or group of believers, but the sense of fellowship was acute and unmistakably a good, clear, Christian, Gospel witness. An hour well spent. I left encouraged in my faith, and challenged to be a better person while I live and enjoy the little time I have left on this earth. This kind of church service doesn’t happen every week, or in every church.

Oh, didn’t I say? I was at a celebration of a life well lived, a lady who is literally a saint in the courts of heaven. Her eternal destiny was, and is, known, confirmed, and secure. A church where pastors can speak freely without compromise, hesitation or choosing their words carefully in case they offend someone. They presented the Gospel of the saving Power of the Lord Jesus Christ and they were respected for their candour without exception.

Yes, I was at a funeral. My only question is this: Why should I attend a funeral service, to hear the Gospel where it is not taken as an offence to the listeners? And as for that word ‘happysad’? Does it make more sense now?

Hope

And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.          1 Thessalonians 4:13 NLT

Funerals seem to come in groups, and as you know none are happy affairs. In my time, I have attended several from the soul-less and God-less humanist ‘service’ right through to the joyful celebration of a life lived to the full and lived well. I know a man who became a military chaplain partly because of the question that haunted him: “Where are they now”?

Don’t you think we take some things for granted? For example, life? More so, the Christian life? When we are young, we feel invincible and untouchable and slowly over the years we become more aware of our vulnerability and mortality. Those feelings touch everyone, and it’s just part of life. But do you and I take our Christian life for granted too? That is, if you think of yourself as a Christian (with a capital ‘C’) and not a nominal christian (with a lowercase ‘c’).

Being a Christian makes the biggest difference when you go to a funeral, whether family, a friend, or a casual acquaintance. Does anything ever strike you during the service in church, or the crematorium? How well the songs and hymns are sung. The atmosphere that lingers underneath the outer human grief. The sure and certain knowledge that this still living soul is now in heaven with their Lord and Saviour. Don’t try to tell me it doesn’t matter because it certainly does.

As a believing Christian every one has the cast iron assurance of an eternity in heaven, not only with their Christian loved ones, but with the author of their salvation. I know the minister will always do his or her best to ease the pain of the grieving family and friends, but there is a limit to what they can truthfully say. However there is no limit to the positive words anyone can use to describe the benefits of the faithful believers. Because beneath the temporal tears of the mourning loved ones, lies the certainty of the joy that they have been welcomed to a reward in Glory that we cannot adequately describe.

Let’s do the minister a favour and live life so that he can tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth at our own ‘going away’ celebrations!

Hope

Brothers and sisters, we want you to know about those who have died. We don’t want you to be sad like other people—those who have no hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13

‘Hopeless’ is a sad and empty word, but we throw it around carelessly and sometimes in fun. This week I have attended the funeral of two friends, both of whom were good people, kind, gentle  and the sort of person you would easily warm to if you met them. All funeral services have similar characteristics, like sadness, grief, a eulogy that helps the deceased’s remaining family good, friends who gather to show their respect, and tears of grief.

On this earth, we are endowed and blessed with free will, and some use that freedom to reject the gift of salvation. A gift known about, and yet not believed or accepted. The tributes to my friends were fulsome and sincere, but these services were clearly conducted to honour the past of the one who died, and the respect of those left behind, but they were incomplete. Hope was missing.

There was no recognition of a beautiful heaven, final bodily healing, the love of a Saviour, redemption, or meeting loved ones again someday. In the true meaning of the word, these services were ‘hopeless’, and very cold. The apostle Paul recognises the sadness of death for those who remain, but he stresses that he doesn’t want us to be sad like those who have no hope. The only people who have this eternal hope, which means it isn’t a hopeless life or death, are the body of believers who call themselves Christians. No others. I am thankful for this assurance of hope we can have and profess.

The Unspoken Words

There are some words which we find hard to use in our daily lives, and a couple of those are 'death' and 'funeral'. They seem so final, and so cold and unfeeling, and when we are in a situation where the subject comes up, we dodge it and say things like, 'their name was on it' or 'it was their turn' or even 'they got a good day for it' and we think we are being funny or sensitive to the family's feelings.


So, why bring it up in this blog? Well, I went to one this week. Most people who go to a funeral will have been to one before, and there are many feelings which we bring to the situation. Our emotions can run high, partly because of the loss of a special loved one of our own, and partly due to the feelings resurrected by that earlier funeral where we were the affected, mourning family.


My heart tells me that funerals are sad. But what about my head? When all the emotion is stripped away, what are we there to do? The answer depends on the person that we are saying goodbye to. The saddest of all is the funeral where not many people attend. Maybe they were not well known, and maybe they didn't leave an impression on the friends and family they had. Yes, those occasions are cold and sad, but they are not all like that, so what makes the difference?


You can still feel an acute loss, but celebrate just the same. You know what I mean. The person who is 'lost' is not really gone forever, but just for a while! Who knows, maybe a short while. I have found that the funerals I remember best, are those where the person had a real impact on their friends, their family and those they came into contact with. They were nice people, but better than that, they were 'good' people, and even better, they were 'Godly' people! It's not so much a 'goodbye', but more of a 'cheerio' and I will see you later.


Morbid? No, I don't think so. Sad? Definitely yes! But people of faith have an inheritance waiting for them, which we can only imagine right now. The analogy is given of a ship on the horizon, just going out of our sight, but coming into the sight of another country. Another place. Deep within us, there is the strong desire to think that this life here, isn't all there is. There should be more, and so we believe, and have faith in another, and better place. I am in no particular hurry to leave this earth, but I know when I do, my ship will come into the sight of a Saviour and loved ones who are there already, and so my feelings are not sad, but satisfied in my future. A good piece of advice would be to live this life in faith, to your best, but with one eye on eternity!