Hurts You or Me More?

In the not so dim and distant past when good parents actually administered a little chastisement to their children when they were naughty, or in danger, or to teach one of life’s lessons, the parent would be heard to say, “this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you”. Perhaps you have heard those words, and perhaps you were one of those parents. And you meant it for good! Smacking your child, right or wrong? The debate continues!

Of course the offending phrase can and does apply to more than a physical smack. It can hurt us emotionally and even spiritually when as adults we find ourselves in the position of doling out an unexpected ‘correction/smack’ to another adult, even though it might be kept within our own head. This outflow usually comes in the form of a word or words to show our displeasure with things said and done by someone held in esteem, and now we think they may need to know how we feel. This will only, ever, be done after a lot of heart searching and always with a heavy heart.

The outcome, unlike with your child, is always irreversible. There can be no going back because you, the younger in authority, are telling the one(s) in greater Christian maturity and authority that you don’t accept or agree with something they have said or done. Something they see nothing wrong with, but you most certainly do! When the words are out, they cannot be taken back, and they always come with consequences.

In serious and extreme situations, this troublesome correction will mean a friendship is scarred, broken, or perhaps lost. In a church situation where the witness of the church or a person is undermined, it may result in the parting of company. I wish it could be otherwise, but because these things are usually left so late in the day, no other result is likely.