AntiSocial Media

If you live in the UK, you will know the sad story of Charlie Gard, a little 11 month old baby who had a life limiting disease, and how his mum and dad had been through the court system, trying everything in their power to save him. His life maintaining tubes and medical paraphernalia were recommended to be removed to allow the little boy die ‘with dignity’. His parents were distraught, and were been faced with a situation which at the end of the day is the life and death of their only son, and one which no parent should ever have to face. This whole situation was played out in the media court of worldwide public opinion, which made it worse. I even saw a USA newspaper report which blamed the UK NHS and the government for Charlie’s death. In my opinion, that is one country which has no room to talk about health care and politics.

As if this heartache wasn’t bad enough, thousands of mindless people took to ‘social’ media to question the medical staff at Great Ormond Street Hospital, and their care for Charlie. Death threats were even made on so called ‘social’ media against the very people who cared night and day to keep this little soul alive while a court case raged around him. All the medical opinion was that his condition was irreversible and his life support should be removed, but these ‘not so wise guys’ who make Facebook and Twitter (there are other social media sites) their weapon of choice, think they know better. No qualifications or medical experience. No connection to the family. No heart. Just anger at a hospital who do what they can to improve the health of children when they can, and are distressed when they get too close to their tiny charges, and the unthinkable happens. Then there was the American doctor who raised false hope by claiming his revolutionary experimental treatment  could turn Charlie’s situation around. It took him months to come to London to see the baby for himself and view the case notes, and it was too late to prove anything. That speaks volumes. Heartless? Do I hear a cash register ringing in my ears? The Pope and Donald Trump also offered ‘any help they could give’, but that went silent as well.

If there was ever a case for believing our society has reached the tipping point of understanding true compassion, this is it. These thousands of mindless trolls represent the kind of society we belong to, and I am ashamed that I am seen as a part of it. This is only one part of an obviously broken community, country, and world. I believe the only thing that will help is the return of the Lord Jesus Christ, who will sort out the sheep from the goats, the wheat from the chaff, the good from the evil. Only then will we rest in the assurance that the death of this little boy has been defeated, and our literally ‘God-less’ society has been set straight.

Repeats

Like a dog that returns to its vomit, a fool does the same foolish things again and again.

Proverbs 26:11

Strong words from Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. His writings are preserved for us and we do well to take heed of his thoughts. As I read these words, I couldn’t help but think about Facebook, some posted thoughts, and more significantly, the comments posted in response.

We have all been there. We saw the words from a ‘friend’ and they sounded extreme. Could have been politics, religion, or a recent news item, but we are drawn into the mistake of putting our own ‘correction’ to the ‘foolishness’ expressed by the original person. Of course we are not alone, because others have seen the words and want to express their own views, and it can get messy! Sometimes we even return to our own foolish words and repeat them, or even over-emphasise them to the effect that they sound even more out of order, and just plain daft! Been there? Know someone who has done this? We are not alone.

Solomon compares the fool going over the same wrong things repeatedly, to the dog returning to its vomit. The big difference is that the dog can’t help it, and we can! But true to our base nature, we defend our errors again and again, and to others it all looks and sounds so petty, false, plain wrong, and very unconvincing. Yes, Solomon was a wise man!

Choices

Sometimes it’s the little decisions which eat away at you, and take their toll as you try to think through all the consequences. Big problems require big decisions, and usually the answers are obvious, so making that right choice can be easier to see.

You visit the doctor because you are breathless, and he tells you to cut out the cigarettes or you are in danger of contracting lung cancer. You know what you are told makes sense, and all you are left with is the choice. Quit smoking or carry on regardless and risk the consequences to your health.

Perhaps it’s a visit to find the cause of the body tremors you are experiencing, and after a full medical examination the doctor tells you to reduce the alcohol intake, or cut it out altogether. Again, you know it makes sense and you are left with a choice. Quit drinking alcohol or carry on regardless and risk the consequences to your liver.  

I find the small, almost insignificant decisions are toughest. Let me be honest. It’s Facebook. So, what’s the problem I hear you say? It’s not like the end of the civilised world if you don’t log on, and you further suggest that I could always ‘unfriend myself’, ie delete my account. Of course these pieces of advice are good and make sense. We know that Facebook is a window into our head, and gives lots of hints and clues as to the kind of person we are, and most importantly how we think. Like you, I warm to those who are like me, and can become cool to those who have differing views on some things I see as important.

There is a wise old saying that we should not discuss politics or religion with friends, and with good reason. These subjects above all others touch us where we are most vulnerable and can  make us react in an unkind way. I confess to being guilty of sitting on both sides of that fence, and as a result hurting others, and also being hurt as a consequence. Maybe you can see my dilemma (if you have followed me this far). So, it all comes down to this: Do I listen and adopt the sensible choice, or do I carry on regardless risking the consequences to my inner health, and possibly the relationship of dear friends?

If things go quiet from my end, whether it turns out to be temporary or permanent, you will hopefully know and understand why. In the words of the age old relationship breakup line, “It’s not you, it’s me”. Either way, it doesn’t signal the end of the world, right?

Common Sense?

Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure no immoral, impure or greedy person... has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Ephesians 5:4,5

These are powerful verses if we take them seriously, and I hope we do. I don’t like it when it happens, and I know I have been guilty of speaking out of turn in no small measure in the past, but when it comes from a trusted and senior source within the body of the general church of Christ, it seems worse. Maybe I am using a harsh measuring stick in judgement, or maybe I am taking these verses too literally. Is that possible?

It’s Facebook again. Or to be more accurate, it’s the use of Facebook by the person on the typewriter, tablet, or phone. It’s not Facebook, or the device, it’s the individual and I think it may be an insight into their heart. It’s not easy to hold on to our common sense on social media sometimes, but if we are going to be true to Jesus Christ, the person we believe in, and call ourselves by His name, we must guard our talk.

People are watching us, and we should remember that we can offend. Instead of being an influence for good, we could be unfollowed, blocked, or unfriended and then where is our witness? I’ll tell you. It’s in the place where it has no benefit. Let’s take more care of our talk (and Facebook posts). It’s important because we can do more harm than good.

Facebook - Good or Bad?

The social media site Facebook seems to divide people into two very different and opposing groups. Those who don’t have a problem with it, and probably use it, and those others who have no time for the nonsense which pervades its pages. It is usually the case, that the latter group are very vocal in their distaste of the medium as a way of communicating. So, I have a simple question for you. Does Facebook do more harm than good?

There can be no doubt that Facebook is successful, with over 2 billion active users worldwide by Sep 2012, and used extensively by all ages. But that alone does not mean it is a good thing. I know generalising is not a good thing, but I find that regular internet users are normally on Facebook (ok, ok so not in all cases!) and those not on Facebook are a very vocal resistance group. Maybe there is good reason for this opposition, but what is it based on?

As a Facebook user, let me give you some annoying irritations:

* The posting of nonsense

* Sharing personal stuff that should stay private

* Expressing bad language or outrageous opinions

* Posting something publicly that you wouldn’t say in person

There are these benefits:

* Choosing my contacts (friends)

* Offensive people or posts can be ‘unfriended’ or ‘blocked’

* Finding and keeping in touch with old long lost friends

* Using ‘Groups’ to keep contacts together, for example a Church

For me, it comes down to a communication tool which I may, or may not choose to use. I have given you a start, so what do you think? Is Facebook a good thing, or do the negatives outweigh the positives such that we should pull out?

Valuable Community

I am a slow learner sometimes, so I have no right to second guess other people’s thoughts, preferences, or experiences. But I do like a sense of community, which some would call fellowship. My upbringing put church ‘fellowship’ into the Sunday Services, and maybe the occasional special service where tea and biscuits were provided, and a light evening of music was arranged. I liked it, and admit to this being part of my past. A personal observation: Sometimes we bring our past experiences into the present day, and think that’s how it should remain. No, no, a thousand times, NO!!

Now, when I think of fellowship, I think of minds which are alike, who enjoy the same things, and agree in matters of faith and God’s Spirit. More than that, these feelings of unity (because that is what fellowship is) mean we don’t even have to be in the same room. When we give something of ourselves in say, prayer, we are in fellowship with one another. When we give to others in need, we are in fellowship with that person in need. I have stopped thinking that my fellowship with God’s people ends when I am outside the church doors.

I am going to state the obvious. The ‘world’ starts outside the church doors too, and the ‘world’ has even provided the means for us to stay in fellowship with each other, and share our needs and burdens, to allow us to pray. The greatest form of fellowship we have with the Father is prayer, and I would suggest, the greatest thing we can do in fellowship for each other is pray. We also have the means at our disposal to aid fellowship. There are phones, cards, visits, and hey, there’s always Facebook!

I started off by saying I am a slow learner. There are times when we are absent from our own fellowship, for business, illness, or holiday reasons, and it is not possible to send a card, phone, or visit, but we can stay in touch. Sorry, but I am back to Facebook again. As I write this, I am away from my own church family, but I don’t feel the distance so much, because I am able to stay in touch with some family and church folks. I get to know about prayer requests, fun things, heartfelt encouragements, and all through the wonder of Social Media. Let me make a statement, and you can feel free to take it as you wish. Through the social media of Facebook, I hear from, and can participate in other Christian’s needs and lives, but unfortunately not so much from my own church family. I know there are reasons for this, but I would suggest we are missing out on something which is a continuation of the old style of fellowship I once knew in my church, but has been made alive again in a new and different form, and keeping the spirit of togetherness breathing in many churches.

Learning can be slow and even painful, but what about setting aside some of those prejudices we have about Facebook, and using it to God’s glory, and the fellowship of the saints? Just another thought!

I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 1 Cor 9:22 NIV

Unfriend Yourself

The title may be bad English grammar, but if you are a social media user, like Facebook, you will know what it means. I don’t usually use the Blog as an outlet for a book review, but I was impressed by the title and content of the short book of the same title, by Kyle Tennent. The idea is to read the book over a long weekend, and ‘unfriend yourself’ from facebook, ie don’t look at it, check it, or update it during that time. Easy! Not so, and the author knows it.

It becomes apparent, if you think about it long enough, that you tend to treat your facebook ‘friends’ very differently, from those other real people you meet. You can and will post some silly, funny and harmless stuff, but you will also open yourself up perhaps privately to someone you do not normally bump into. They may be in a different part of the country, or even overseas. because you feel the safety of distance, you will say things which will let them see a part of you, which is usually reserved for your closest true friend, or family. Stop for a moment and reflect. Do you know of someone who got into some kind of trouble because of a facebook contact, possibly started innocently, but which has ended up in family trouble, separation or even divorce?

The young author tells his own story. He was going into a Christian college to study, and thought it a good idea to make facebook ‘friends’ with those who would be enrolling for the same year and subjects. He racked up about 40 friends, and started to break the ice before they ever met. So far so good, but he found that some of these friends started to share some deeper feelings than would normally be shared. A line (or two) had been crossed by more than one person in the social media group. The difficulty became more apparent when they met face to face when they finally got together at college. They didn’t know what to say, or even where to start. The ‘invisible’ facebook profiles turned out to be quite misleading. Why? Because each person was very selective in what they said on their wall. Only things which made them look funny, or cool, or intelligent, or wise, or handsome/pretty were put up there for the world to see. The trouble was, that was not the real person. Almost every student had to go back to square one and let folks find out who they really were, and what they were really like.  

Kyle Tennent does not advocate that you ditch your facebook account. Only that you use it wisely, and not as a false advertisement for who you really are. Take a look at your profile. Do you see some warts as well as beauty spots? Or are there only beauty spots? Your true friends will still be your friends in spite of your failings, in fact they may be your friends because of your warts. Now that’s real friendship, and not just for Facebook!

Love, Care and facebook

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

There are a few definitions of love, but how does love apply to the church? My church. I believe in loving, and being loved. This is one of the greatest joys in this life, and cannot be faked! Everyone, without exception, wants to be loved, but we are not all able to love, or so it would seem sometime. I think this can spill over into our church life. We want to be loved in some ways, and are happy to receive anything which makes us feel wanted, or important. However, the other side of the coin is that we can’t always return the compliment, at least adequately. We live in a one way world of love!

The verse at the top is the oft quoted one, but it follows right after these words of Jesus, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” So it follows that our love has to copy the love of the Lord, and that can sometimes be a one way street from Him to us. I see this as a bit of ‘give and take’. Jesus gives, and we take, and we are happy to leave it at that. Loving back is a high calling, and I go back to my first thought that we all want to love, and be loved. God gives His love to us, mostly on a one way basis, and we in turn, are happy to accept this love from God, and we also take the same from our friends. How about giving back some love?

I do understand that this is an uphill struggle, but how about starting with something easier? Caring! We can all do that, can’t we? The trouble with both love and caring, is that they take us out of our comfort zones, and make us vulnerable. Coming from the West of Scotland, I was brought up in an environment where people were not so soppy as to show their feelings. That even applied to family life, and yes, church family life too. We can be happier to give some slight sarcasm to our friends, in the hope it will be interpreted as caring! Huh?? If Christians don’t show the way, who will? We are commanded to love one another. It’s not a suggestion, so can we get on with it please! Facebook might help  so look for ‘Port Glasgow Nazarene’ (that’s a hint!)...

ASBO Network

I am getting a bit fed up with the posting habits of some of my facebook 'friends' or more likely 'friends of friends'. I joined facebook a bit reluctantly, to get, and stay in touch with old friends from 'way back, and to that end I have been successful. So, what's the problem? The social network has become little by little, another way of showing how anti social we have become.

So, I am an old fuddy duddy. I don't mind being called that. What I do mind are mindless facebook posts and images which are in bad taste certainly, but bordering on pornographic, with innuendo, and very bad language. I don't choose to stay in that kind of company, and can certainly understand the odd expletive in a conversation from a friend, or relation. But, and it's a BIG BUT, to take the time to write it down takes a bit of deliberate thought, and I don't think it is all in silly mischief, or meant as a bit of fun.

It has been said that billboards are a mirror of the morality of a nation. Well, I am beginning to think that social networking sites like facebook, are also a mirror of our nation's morality. Yes, the lion's share of postings are good natured and a bit of fun, but we all know when it has crossed a decency line. Or do we? Apparently not by everyone after all. I am very close to shutting down my facebook account, but as a start have scaled down my settings to the bare minimum 'friends only'. I have also made it clear that any such postings will result in that person being removed from any and all visibility on my account. It's part of my personal profile.

There is another new word creeping into our vocabulary, and it is 'fraped', which is a combination of the words, 'f'acebook and 'raped' and I see it being used more frequently recently. This is what is meant by taking over someone else's facebook page when they are not looking, and posting something which would horrify the owner of the account. I have a couple of concerns with this. Firstly, making the comparison with the worst thing that can happen to a girl, and comparing it to posting a malicious sentence, is a bad use of language, not to mention common sense, and demeans the agony experienced by too many girls in our culture. Not funny. Secondly, I am not convinced that all of these posts are put there by a third party. Maybe there is a bit of personal mischief going on, under the guise that someone else did it, and they are not to blame themselves.

Finally, I apologise if you have seen anything on any of my pages which you find offensive, in any way. If it happens, please let me know and I will take care of it. Due to the way I use the system, you may see something like that before I do, and have time to delete the post and the person. Rant over!