Alone? But When?

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis2:18NIV

I was wondering if God had a time scale in mind in this verse. If it is not good for ‘the man’ to be alone because he needs a helper, does the promise or need of that helper run out in his lifetime? This refers to life in general, but does it apply right up to death too? Does it equally apply to a bereaved widower? Or a man whose wife has left him alone? So many questions, and none of them insignificant in their own right.

There is a world wide move to show that woman (I use the word ‘woman’ deliberately, as opposed to ‘women’) is an equal entity to man, but this verse would clearly show this not to be true. I know some men who live on their own, and they obviously need and want the helper that God speaks of. Men may be stronger in the brawn department, but they do lack a lot in the softer, thoughtful, emotional side. God knew right from the start that the combination of a man and woman rightly defined by Him would be an unbeatable combination, and it surely is!

Is it wrong then to believe that a man left on his own, is incomplete? Without the other part which would make him whole? The woman who would be the heart to his head. The sensitive nature to his stubborn outlook? The understanding to his closed mind?

Take a look around your men friends who are living life on their own and ask yourself this. As a general rule, would they be happier and more complete, living as God declared in His Word? I am not saying that every single man should be on the lookout for a wife, but I am thinking from this verse, it would appear to be part of God’s master plan for a balanced life, society, and world, and so some or even many, could be missing out on one of God’s, and life’s, earliest and greatest pleasures and Blessings.

A final thought. If all that applies to men, would it not also apply equally to women? After all, God’s plan from the beginning is for pairs of men and women as a complete union?

The Journey - Alone in a Crowd

In any walking group, there will always be that one person not walking with the rest, but slightly off to one side, and not really a part of the main conversations. They will have signed up for the walk, probably for the fresh air and exercise, but there is not much interaction with the others. In fact, they will have real friends in that group, but some will walk alone. Are they being antisocial? Rude? Or maybe they don’t relate well to the route or the small talk? Whatever we think of their actions, let’s not be too harsh on them or rush to judgement.

It is possible to be lonely in a crowd, and even within a group of good friends. The reasons can be many and varied, but at the core there is a human being feeling very much on their own. Perhaps due to a recently diagnosed illness of a family member or even themselves, or maybe due to the raw memory of an anniversary which was life changing and one that may have happened years ago. Sometimes both good and bad memories have the same effect of us wanting to step outside the group for a while.

Christmas is a happy time for families, and groups of friends, and it is the season for church fellowship evenings, when fun and laughter is the normal and expected fare. As walkers on the journey of life, in a strange way, this can be almost unbearable for some good Christian folks. Yes even those who value their faith completely and sincerely, and are well aware of the significance of the baby in the manger. If you see, or suspect some friend struggle with the season, why not draw alongside? Not to speak nice words of comfort or wisdom, but just to show without a lot of speaking that you care. That can mean the difference between a bad Christmas, and a bearable Christmas to your friend.

The Lord is close to those who have suffered disappointment. He saves those who are discouraged. Good people might have many problems, but the Lord will take them all away. Psalm 34:18,19

Ryan 2007-2010

A solitary and pure flower.

He was only three years old and didn't deserve the sad life he had, much less the tragic death. His name was Ryan, and he was passed on to another couple because his own mother 'couldn't cope'. Another report says she wanted peace to redecorate her house, and gave £20 to the killer couple to look after him for her for a month.

This is tragic on a number of levels. How is it that a mother (not a Mum! A woman can be a mother, but only some make it to be a Mum) can sell her child for a month, to let her do some painting? Having given her child away, how on earth can she NOT know the kind of house and environment she is placing her child in? The people in the dock and charged with murder, are the couple who beat, and starved the child to death, and rightly so. But what about the mother? Does she have no guilt in this transaction?

This is yet another occasion where words defy us to describe the people who made this three year old's life a hell on earth. Maybe there is a clue in that last statement. We have become so sophisticated and modern that we have bought the lie that there is no evil in this world. No devil. No satan. But what pushes anyone to destroy a child's life, by inflicting over 70 wounds and marks on his face and body, locking him in a storage cupboard, and starving him until he died. This did not happen overnight. It took time. Day after day. The child would have been terrified, scared and lonely. Very lonely. Where were the people who should have protected him? The answer to that question is NOT the local authority. We are too quick to blame them for other people's actions. This wee boy was brought into the world by two parents. Where were they? Did they care?

It's time we admitted to ourselves that there is evil in this world, and it is alive and well in the society we have created. We hide from it, and we will find ways to excuse it, saying things like... the mother came from a deprived background. Or maybe, the adults in the boy's life were abused when they were children. We might even hear it said that we just need to educate our young people in how to raise children! Raising a child is not rocket science. Not always easy, but the human race has been raising children for a very long time.

What has changed? What about these thoughts? In the past 20-40 years we have seen a change in society's attitude to morality, and the moral authority of the church. Any church. Children are no longer taken to church by their parents, or indeed even sent to Sunday School. We know better nowadays, don't we? We let the children make their own minds up, and we have abdicated our responsibility as parents and society in teaching them right from wrong. That might be because we don't know ourselves anymore. The family unit of Mum (yes Mum), and Dad (not father) has been devalued. Yes, I do believe that there is only ONE kind of family unit, and it is NOT an Adam and Steve set up, no matter what the PC brigade tell us!

Some crimes are bad. Some are very bad, and some are evil. Why do we have such a problem is seeing evil for what it is? We are creating a nation of children, and young adults, who are living in a moral vacuum. Brought about in part by the older generation accepting the lie that we didn't need to worry about evil and morality. All we had to do was build better houses and make a better environment. That would lift everyone up to a higher place and make us all better people. Did it work? No! The trouble is that there seems to be no appetite to return to teaching morality at home and school, and the ability to see the traditional family unit as a microcosm of society. If the family gets broken, so does our society. And so we reap the rewards of our own making! Have we passed the point of no return? I hope not!