'The Talk'

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians3:20NIV

It seems that every time someone on radio or TV wants to make their minor point to a wider audience, they say things like: Let’s have that conversation, or We need to talk about this, or Have you had the chat with your kids yet?

Apparently, the latest ‘talk fad’ to have with your young children revolves around checking or asking if they are happy as a boy or girl, and opening up the subject, ever so gently of course, that Johnny might feel happier as Jenny, and vice versa. Therefore the whole minefield of gender identity is raised with a 6 year old, ever so gently again of course.

Who are we kidding? How were our leaders brought round to thinking this was a good thing? I find it hard to believe they are quite so daft, but maybe this makes the point for me. The “let’s talk about this” culture has now dropped into our pre-school children’s lives, and we can only lay the blame at their parents door. Personal story: a 3 year old managed to climb up on the dining room chair, and from there onto the table while mum was distracted talking. Mum takes the situation in hand by suggesting this is not a safe place to be, and would she like to come down? Then added the thought that the toddler could scuff her new shoes. This conversation took place between an unhappy 3 year old on top of a polished dining table, and an adult who hadn’t covered this situation in her “self help” book. What? You think I’m joking??

This “Let’s talk this through” phenomena with a toddler seems to be growing, and I can’t help but wonder why? Are parents (sorry but it’s usually mums) so afraid to be direct with their children that the poor kid might be scarred for life, or perish the thought, even offended? Do the parents want to abdicate responsibility, and just become best buddies? Do we now view our toddlers as ‘little adults’, so treat them as such?

Let me be open here. Don’t these offenders (the parents, not the children) see how stupid they look to others as they try to (ever so gently of course) discuss and reason their child out of wilful damage, sheer bad manners, or even bad tempered disrespect? I am glad I was brought up to respect and love my parents, and it wasn’t because they treated me as an equal. They were the parents, but more importantly, I was brought up to know it. You may think I am out of order, but I can’t help but wonder what would happen if our nation needed to invoke military service, or conscription? We would be depending on this entitled generation to protect us all from a violent, destructive, and single minded enemy. We may as well wave the white flag right away, and ask if they want to chat over a cup of tea. Far fetched? You think so??

Just Talk?

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy6:6-7NIV

Our biggest, best, and most important mission field is our family. Not the world, or the nation, or even the community, all of which are important, but not as significant as our children. The biggest influence on any child is their mum and dad, especially in their younger formative years, so what are we doing about it?

I don’t know about your church fellowship, but I was used to missionary meetings which always featured brave men and women who left home and family to take the gospel to the poor tribes in the third world. What amazing stories they told, but every convert was a tough challenge, and certainly not easy. Going into a culture which is contrary to the Christian Gospel, and going against the grain for every convert is not easy and every one should be commended.

We are not all called to be missionaries, preachers, or teachers, but every parent has the ability to tell their children about the love of God, and better still, they can show that love first hand. The impact is clear and unmistakeable, and our verse shows the importance. But why do it at all? Taking the following verses in context shows God’s heart and intention for using the family unit as the mission field that most adults can identify with, and He gives us good reason to talk so that we don’t forget the Lord. Just talk with your family, and walk the talk!

When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you – a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant – then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. Deuteronomy6:10-12NIV

Some Peace

Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.                                2 Corinthians 13:11 ESV

How many times have you heard the words, “I just want some peace”? In fact, you have probably uttered these words yourself more than a few times, especially if you are a parent of young children. The words “GIMME PEACE!” are usually uttered in exasperation”. However, peace is never easy to achieve, whether in countries at war, or in the home.

Paul had this trouble with the believers in Corinth. They wanted some peace but didn’t know how to go about getting it. The apostle comes to the rescue in this short verse of advice. He tells them to set their sights high, and to “aim for restoration….comfort….agreement….live peacefully”. Then the God of love and peace would be with them. *Simples* but not so fast, because Paul starts the verse with the word “rejoice”.

Let me get this right. When you are at the end of your tether, and stressed out, he tells us to rejoice? Aye right Paul. Are you serious? Yes, apparently he is. He starts with the command to rejoice, and then comes the rest of the advice. This is all counter intuitive to us, and it must have been the same to the early church too. You didn’t think peace would just fall into your lap, now did you? Getting some of that elusive peace takes effort and action on our part and Paul hits the nail on the head. So, you and I need some peace? Then I suggest we read this verse, and read it over, and then read it some more until it sinks in, because this lesson is in God’s Word so it is a much needed truth for young and old alike. True peace comes through rejoicing.

A Prayer

O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.

So even to old age and grey hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation….. Psalm 71:17,18

If you had one wish for your life, what would it be? Would it possibly take the form of a prayer like the Psalmist? In our youth, we seldom have time or the desire to think beyond our own needs, or the immediate needs of our family if we are blessed with one. The real question behind my words is, what is most important to you, and what do you want your legacy to be when you are gone?

We all know folks who have walked this life, done good, lived close to their Lord and God, and we relish their memory much more than some others. The reason for this is their quest and zest for life, and for passing something of that enthusiasm down to the rest of us. The way they did that was through their simple, unassuming, uncluttered faith. And we can do the same.

The best way for us to influence others for good is firstly to get old gracefully. We joke about that, but there is a truth underlying the words. There is no better or greater example than one given from a full heart, and a love for God which drives all other loves. When we are close to God, we automatically become closer to our spouse, children and friends and without it being an effort. So while life lasts, at whatever age we are, let us live out the words of the Psalmist when he prays: So even to old age and grey hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation.

The ageing  Apostle of Love, John, puts it so well when he records his own thoughts in 3 John 4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” Amen to that prayer.

Good Children Make Good Parents

I used to question the validity of that statement, which was made to us about our own children many years ago now. It was made by a respected friend who had been getting to know us while we were all living in America. At first I put it down to one of those sayings which had no real depth or meaning, but now I think differently. I believe it to be true.


Yes, at first the tables are turned. Your children are young, and you try to be good parents, so you try to make good children. You do your best to give values, manners, and just good common sense into their young lives, and that works for a while. But years pass, and your values, may not become your children's values. Your ideals may not be shared by your children as they find their own way in life, and that is normal, and to be expected. I have seen parents change their values because of their children, but I have been fortunate. That is where the change over happens.


I now see in my own children, the same interest and drive, to instil values and manners and good common sense into their own children, and once again I feel proud. The cycle continues. But it's more than that, I feel privileged to be the Dad whose children now, perhaps unknowingly, give me the honour of making me a 'good parent'. That honour is not mine alone. It also belongs to another, and more so, but she is not here to see the benefit or feel the pride, but I know she would approve and also feel that pride too. Thanks Margaret, you did a great job, and without you, who knows how things would have turned out. You have earned your reward!!   

Contagious Grins!

You can't tell a child when to smile, no matter their age. You can say the words 'smile please' and mean them, but if the child (of ANY age) doesn't want to smile, well, they won't!! But when that same wee person decides they are enjoying the whole lot of attention, and they want to smile, well then it just bursts forth like a well or a fountain. 

The smile on these young subjects became contagious as the night went on, and they realised that they were enjoying themselves and having fun!! These are portraits of a family of sisters with their 'baby' cousin, and boy did they look after each other that night. 

A family is a wonderful thing. A God given institution of visible love, protection, happiness and unity. Just like my young subjects that night. I was allowed to be a part of their family fun, and in return, I think you will agree, the images portray that whole protective and happy family feeling. We owe it to ourselves to enjoy our children while they are young, and if like me, you get the chance to be allowed into their private world, take it! There is no safer, more wonderful place.

For more of this photo shoot, go to my gallery website at http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/dmmclean1.