Unfriend Yourself

The title may be bad English grammar, but if you are a social media user, like Facebook, you will know what it means. I don’t usually use the Blog as an outlet for a book review, but I was impressed by the title and content of the short book of the same title, by Kyle Tennent. The idea is to read the book over a long weekend, and ‘unfriend yourself’ from facebook, ie don’t look at it, check it, or update it during that time. Easy! Not so, and the author knows it.

It becomes apparent, if you think about it long enough, that you tend to treat your facebook ‘friends’ very differently, from those other real people you meet. You can and will post some silly, funny and harmless stuff, but you will also open yourself up perhaps privately to someone you do not normally bump into. They may be in a different part of the country, or even overseas. because you feel the safety of distance, you will say things which will let them see a part of you, which is usually reserved for your closest true friend, or family. Stop for a moment and reflect. Do you know of someone who got into some kind of trouble because of a facebook contact, possibly started innocently, but which has ended up in family trouble, separation or even divorce?

The young author tells his own story. He was going into a Christian college to study, and thought it a good idea to make facebook ‘friends’ with those who would be enrolling for the same year and subjects. He racked up about 40 friends, and started to break the ice before they ever met. So far so good, but he found that some of these friends started to share some deeper feelings than would normally be shared. A line (or two) had been crossed by more than one person in the social media group. The difficulty became more apparent when they met face to face when they finally got together at college. They didn’t know what to say, or even where to start. The ‘invisible’ facebook profiles turned out to be quite misleading. Why? Because each person was very selective in what they said on their wall. Only things which made them look funny, or cool, or intelligent, or wise, or handsome/pretty were put up there for the world to see. The trouble was, that was not the real person. Almost every student had to go back to square one and let folks find out who they really were, and what they were really like.  

Kyle Tennent does not advocate that you ditch your facebook account. Only that you use it wisely, and not as a false advertisement for who you really are. Take a look at your profile. Do you see some warts as well as beauty spots? Or are there only beauty spots? Your true friends will still be your friends in spite of your failings, in fact they may be your friends because of your warts. Now that’s real friendship, and not just for Facebook!