Pride, Prejudice, and Independence

It won’t make any sense to the younger readers, but as you get older you might encounter the problem of role reversal with your family. God has been good to me, and blessed me with a family who would do anything for me. This is ok as long as it isn’t necessary to ask, but… BIG BUT, the time comes when you have to give in to your prideful independence, and the prejudice of the only person who can and should do things, is me!!

In a few weeks I will be going into hospital for a significant knee operation to remove one implant, and replace it with another fuller and better one. The result is a while to recover, the physiotherapy, and all the while trying to keep house. Having lost my wee wife some years ago, I miss her and that everything would have been done and covered properly. My pride gets in the way. My two lovely daughters are straight from their mum as far as being Godly, and a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen and home. But ask them to step in and help me? That is a step to far, isn’t it??

There has come a time when events overtake you, and such is the case now, but without a hesitation, they have stood in the gap for me when it was needed, and I didn’t have to ask. Take note, all you lonely dads with daughters, you don’t have to tell then when you need help. They are way ahead of you there, and have already figured it out. You see each side doesn’t want to step in and take away a level of independence, until it is absolutely necessary.

So, my failings are out in the open. My pride, prejudice and independence have taken a much needed knock, but for the best. I have always loved my girls, but I have a new respect and appreciation for them both. They truly are a Godsend, and I don’t use that term lightly. I wasn’t happy with God when He decided that heaven needed the presence of my wife, and although there can never be a substitute, in His infinite wisdom, He gave me two mini-mums who are heaven’s treasures to me. A simple thank you is not enough.

In/Dependence

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7 NLT

No one wants to be a burden, especially as we get older and we become less able to manage as well as we once did, at least physically. At the root is the fact that you were always the strong parent and grandparent, but now you are less sure footed, and a bit more forgetful. We don’t want to be dependent on anyone, least of all our family, and the other side of that coin is the possible loss of our independence. I don’t know which part of that process is worse. We would want none of it.

Now and again, we need to lean on someone for support. There comes a time when you have less choice in the matter. It can help if the person you lean on, or depend on first, is not close family. Not that family don’t know, or care, or can’t see your struggles, but the first time I needed that new level of support, I was glad it was someone I didn’t know. That helped to create a bridge for further help when needed, to the people who loved me most. My family.

Travelling always brings its own challenges, especially flying between continents where a long haul is involved. It became more and more obvious that this dependence could not be hidden. It was obvious to others, as well as myself. It had happened. The line had been crossed between needing help, and asking for it. It was now the job of the airport and airline companies to provide that assisted travel, but now that I had recognised the need to myself (the hardest one to convince), the travelling became much easier.

But more than all that, I had crossed the Rubicon. There was no going back. As a result, a sense of release came in because I didn’t have to pretend any longer. I was the last to know how much help was needed, but family were, and still are, gracious. Not wanting to rush me but at the same time preparing for the next step in my own journey of life. I am again reminded of how blessed I am to have the family circle around me that God has allowed in my life. My heart echoes, “Thank you, Lord!”

It's A Date

We don’t often have the luxury of knowing in advance those things which are life changing. We get no warning of personal or family accident or emergency, or our ultimate or untimely demise. There are times when we wouldn’t want to know these dates anyway, and understandably so.

For those who live in Scotland, or who are Scottish by birth, or who might have a grannie who was Scottish (there seem to be many categories of inclusion) you will get the chance to vote for an independent country of Scotland. This is a historic date, and the First Minister Alex Salmond calls it ‘a date with destiny’.

Between now and the 18th of September 2014, there will be a lot of attention and media hours given to the debate of whether Scotland would be better off, or not, as an independent nation. This is the first time in over 300 years of being a part of the United Kingdom, we will get the chance to leave, and by a free and democratic process. By the time that date comes along, I predict Scots will be fed up seeing it on the TV, and hearing it on the radio.

If we will talk this important subject to death for the next 18 months, can I ask why we don’t give the same attention to the date we all have to face, or maybe we don’t want to think about the certainty of our own mortality. Too morbid? Too far away? Too young? Don’t care? There are many reasons for not facing up to the fact that we will all stand before a Just and Holy God in judgement, but we cannot ignore that more important ‘date with destiny’, and it doesn’t matter if you are Scottish. Everyone will stand before God, whether they believe in Him or not... now that’s a scary thought for the unbeliever, and dare I say some believers too.

My suggestion is clear. Think about, and be prepared, for a date you do not know. In God’s will, the 18 September 2014 will come and go, but the real date with our destiny will determine where we will spend eternity. That’s a very long time, so shouldn’t we be wise and face up to the certainty of that mysterious date?

And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. Hebrews 9:27 KJV

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. ‘But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. Mark 13:31-33 NIV

Independence

I am a Scot, living in Scotland, and consider myself Scottish, but yet British at the same time. I do not see this as a contradiction, although some might. The subject of Scottish independence is on the news agenda again, and getting a lot of air time. Let’s face it, the outcome either way will affect each of us who live in the United Kingdom. Yes, I see our joint identity as a United Kingdom. The news item grabbed me because there appear to be three choices which may be put to the Scottish population. Independence Yes or No, which is an easy one to understand as you will either be in favour of the idea or not. The other choice being discussed is referred to as Devo Max, or Indi Lite. A kind of half way house, and neither one nor the other. Not wholly Scottish and not fully British.

I don’t want to make a political point here, but I see a clear parallel in our Christian lives and faith. Particularly the Indi Lite option, after all you know where you stand when someone either agrees or disagrees with you, and your belief. Christians or Atheists? The differences are obvious, but what about an equivalent ‘Christ-Lite’ version of faith? Do we see evidence of this around us now? How about this for a thought? Are we trying to be ‘Christ-Like’ or ‘Christ-Lite’?

The standard God sets us is high. 1 Peter 1v15 says “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” This is no light or easy target. It is a gold standard, but according to the Bible, with God’s help, it is reachable. Do we maybe settle for a ‘Christ-Lite’ version of our faith sometimes, because it suits us?

It’s a very personal question, but do you see areas of your life as more ‘Christ Lite’ than ‘Christ Like’? I know I do! The words of Revelation 3v15,16 are given to us as a warning. ”I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” Makes me want to work harder at being ‘Christ Like’, how about you? After all, this vote is eternal!