Oh No!

To say I don’t like shopping is an understatement, so when I am pushing that shopping trolley round the supermarket, I am looking and hoping for a quick exit. Sometimes I will bump into someone and have a short chat, and that’s ok. Until last week, that is.

As I turned at the end of an aisle, I saw him but fortunately he didn’t notice me, so I backtracked up the aisle I had just come down for no other reason than to avoid this person I didn’t like or get on with. By way of explanation, we had a conversation a couple of weeks before, and it quickly turned into a debate, and then an argument. I don’t know who won, but I didn’t want to go through all that again, hence the evasive action. I must have looked suspicious as I peered round the end of each aisle in an effort to avoid this troublesome man.

I wasn’t the only person he had crossed. It had happened before, and now I was the latest casualty of his contrary opinions. If you said something was white, he would say it was black. You get the picture? I hadn’t seen him for a while, so let my guard down thinking he had finished shopping, and had left the shop and the car park. How wrong I was!

As I turned the last aisle I needed to get some shopping in, there he was facing me, and there was no way I could avoid him. My heart sank. I took a deep breath, and thought ‘Oh No, here we go’. The same determined look was there again. I could see it in his eyes. In a matter of a few microseconds, I felt my day was ruined. And then it happened. He reached out and touched my arm, and said softly, “I’m really sorry about the last time we met and how we left each other after that awkward conversation. I am so very sorry”. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I had spent over an hour avoiding this man, and could have missed hearing the benefit and blessing of his heart felt apology. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I had forgotten that he had thoughts and feelings too, and rather than wait for me, he had decided to take the step and apologise first. I ask you, who showed the most grace? Sadly, not me because while I held the grudge, my friend (because that is what we suddenly became) took the step of being vulnerable and taking the risk of me either ignoring his words, or even worse, giving him a piece of my mind.

We are firm friends now, and our conversations have been agreeable and cordial. What happened? While I bottled up my feelings, my friend prayed about his, and God showed the way of forgiveness, which is always better than holding the grudge. Always! I was the loser and my heart and actions showed this failing. It is no mistake that we are told by the authority of Jesus Himself:

“Yes, if you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, then your Father in heaven will also forgive your wrongs. But if you don’t forgive others, then your Father in heaven will not forgive the wrongs you do.” Matthew 6:14,15

“I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other just as I loved you. All people will know that you are my followers if you love each other.” John 13:34,35