Oh No!

To say I don’t like shopping is an understatement, so when I am pushing that shopping trolley round the supermarket, I am looking and hoping for a quick exit. Sometimes I will bump into someone and have a short chat, and that’s ok. Until last week, that is.

As I turned at the end of an aisle, I saw him but fortunately he didn’t notice me, so I backtracked up the aisle I had just come down for no other reason than to avoid this person I didn’t like or get on with. By way of explanation, we had a conversation a couple of weeks before, and it quickly turned into a debate, and then an argument. I don’t know who won, but I didn’t want to go through all that again, hence the evasive action. I must have looked suspicious as I peered round the end of each aisle in an effort to avoid this troublesome man.

I wasn’t the only person he had crossed. It had happened before, and now I was the latest casualty of his contrary opinions. If you said something was white, he would say it was black. You get the picture? I hadn’t seen him for a while, so let my guard down thinking he had finished shopping, and had left the shop and the car park. How wrong I was!

As I turned the last aisle I needed to get some shopping in, there he was facing me, and there was no way I could avoid him. My heart sank. I took a deep breath, and thought ‘Oh No, here we go’. The same determined look was there again. I could see it in his eyes. In a matter of a few microseconds, I felt my day was ruined. And then it happened. He reached out and touched my arm, and said softly, “I’m really sorry about the last time we met and how we left each other after that awkward conversation. I am so very sorry”. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I had spent over an hour avoiding this man, and could have missed hearing the benefit and blessing of his heart felt apology. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I had forgotten that he had thoughts and feelings too, and rather than wait for me, he had decided to take the step and apologise first. I ask you, who showed the most grace? Sadly, not me because while I held the grudge, my friend (because that is what we suddenly became) took the step of being vulnerable and taking the risk of me either ignoring his words, or even worse, giving him a piece of my mind.

We are firm friends now, and our conversations have been agreeable and cordial. What happened? While I bottled up my feelings, my friend prayed about his, and God showed the way of forgiveness, which is always better than holding the grudge. Always! I was the loser and my heart and actions showed this failing. It is no mistake that we are told by the authority of Jesus Himself:

“Yes, if you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, then your Father in heaven will also forgive your wrongs. But if you don’t forgive others, then your Father in heaven will not forgive the wrongs you do.” Matthew 6:14,15

“I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other just as I loved you. All people will know that you are my followers if you love each other.” John 13:34,35

Thunder or Love?

These are the twelve he appointed: Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter);  James son of Zebedee and his brother John (to them he gave the name Boanerges, which means ‘sons of thunder’), Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealot (and Judas). Mark 3:16-18

The apostles were a motley crew. Out of the twelve, we would think of three as terrorists. That’s a quarter of those whom Jesus chose. These are men who would be lawbreakers given the chance. They were used to shouting the odds, fighting first and asking questions later! In spite of his past reputation, we are told that John became the disciple that Jesus loved. Thunder and love don’t go well together, so what happened to John?

John had been a shouter. A man who got his way by being strong of tongue, body and will, and knew how to get what he wanted, usually by force or wearing his opponent down physically and mentally. So what happened to the man he was? Three years in the company of Jesus changed John to become known as the ‘disciple of love’. When you read his epistles, you can’t help but notice the number of times the word ‘love’ is used. By the time John was exiled on Patmos, his life bore no resemblance to the John who started out with Jesus those years before.

I would suggest that spending time with Jesus will change us beyond recognition. The rough edges will be rubbed off, and we will emerge a very different person. There is a wise saying that “God will accept us as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us the way He found us”. I like that thought. When we encounter the love of God, we will change. In John’s case, no more ‘son of thunder’, but replaced by a disciple of love. Jesus still performs the same miracle today. As the children’s hymn says, “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so”. Do I hear an ‘Amen’?

Anger

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

Did you ever read the ‘Mr Men’ stories by Roger Hargreaves to your children? They all had a characteristic which made it easy to use as a moral which could be applied. Among all the little men was Mr Angry, and he got angry at just about everything, everyone, all the time, to the point it became ridiculous. By the end of the story you had lost any sympathy you might have had for the poor wee man. He overplayed his flaw to the point of losing his friends, even his closest pals! It seems some adults were never introduced to this Mr Men character and any lessons that might have been learned are lost. But he does have a (not so) secret following!

The world is a very angry place, or to be more accurate, the world has too many angry people. Have you watched the news on TV, or caught a bulletin on the radio? It can’t have escaped your attention that we live among a very angry people. Did you watch the anger displayed at the US Republican and Democratic Conventions? After recent shootings in the USA, the streets are filled with angries. It happens every time people are mown down unnecessary, and it does not matter their colour. Closer to home, the ‘gentler politics’ promised melts away quickly when tested by tough times, or a leadership battle, or sport, or a referendum held in the UK and in Scotland. Division makes people angry, and feeling that you don’t count makes these faceless people very angry indeed.

Who or what gets you angry? I suggest anger mainly rises inside with those who are closest to you. Your family, your government, your environment, your team, and yes even your spouse. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t get your dander up (as my wise Dad used to say). Passion makes for heightened emotions, feelings, and that includes anger. It is significant that the apostle doesn’t say we shouldn’t get angry. We know that Jesus was angry enough to clear out the Temple Courts of money changers and traders. When we fall prey to anger, and let’s face it, we all get angry, there are a couple of golden rules. The first one is not to allow your anger lead to sin. That could include the sin of exaggeration to make a point, impatience, arrogance, belittling someone, or shouting them down. These are sins to be avoided, so when you are angry ‘don’t give the devil a foothold’ as the apostle continues in verse 27.

The bit that is hardest, especially with family, and maybe your spouse whom you might love and get angry with in equal measure, is not ending the day holding on to your anger. None of it. Zilch, nada, nil! There is an old hit song which has the words, “The best part of breaking up, is when you’re making up”. Not quite the same, but you get my drift. How good is that feeling when you say sorry, and are forgiven? It’s like that with our Heavenly Father too. We get angry with Him and blame Him for just about everything, but when we say sorry and mean it, there is no better feeling this side of heaven than His forgiveness. Trust me! So, take care with your anger on earth, and be more than careful to say sorry to God for the anger you have felt towards Him, and receive His forgiveness which leads to salvation and confirms His presence. Now that’s a sure way to achieve heaven on earth, before we get there.