Sarcy

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians4:6NIV

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians4:29NIV

I need to nail something down. Right now. My Scottish culture almost demands that you are sarcastic, and the more sarcastic you can be, the better. To soften the barbs, we find it goes by other names like, ‘a bit of fun’, ‘banter’, ‘harmless chatter’, ‘inoffensive laughs’ and the favourite, ‘everybody does it’. It doesn’t sound so bad like that, does it? However, sometimes it feels like a competition and I’m getting tired of it.

The little brother of sarcasm is irony, and there is a better place in our language for that, than for being sarcastic. Let me throw a lifeline. Done well, sarcasm can be very funny and more so when no one is affected personally. Scottish menfolk are not good at light sarcasm. It has to be full bore or not at all. In fact, the more personal you can make your sarcastic comments, that would seem to work for many. Because this is a cultural failure, the ailment has seeped into the church, and good Christians have become quite adept at the ‘art’. Social media is a favourite gallery to display your prowess’.

I wonder how Jesus views our conversations? We do have good evidence that God would prefer we didn’t sink to that level as seen in the two verses above. There are many more taken in context which would support this.

The ground has been pierced by my sword from here on. I cannot do anything to stop my friends being who they are, or holding to this kind of so called humour, but I can exert some pressure to change myself, from the inside. So, when addressed in sarcasm, whether personally or aimed at another, I will not react or respond. For my own part, it dies right there. I feel I have been here before, but each time I backslide, the worse the error of my sarcasm becomes. Is my target too high, and perhaps unattainable? I hope not because I don’t like myself when I slide back, even a little.

Sarcasm defined by the Cambridge English Dictionary: “The use of remarks that clearly mean the opposite of what they say, made in order to hurt someone's feelings or to criticize something in a humorous way.” Or how about this definition?: “the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.” ...and still the answer comes back, “..it’s only a bit of banter, a bit of fun!” Somehow I don’t see my culture changing anytime soon!

Irony

Irony is the nice ‘proper english’ word for sarcasm. The saying that ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’ is very true in my eyes, and possibly more so because I live in a culture where sarcasm is seen as funny, witty, and a great laugh. For whom, I wonder? The person being put down, or the person with the sharp tongue? Just asking.

I was on a work course once where the purpose was to emphasise the benefits of being positive, and not using any put down or sarcastic talk in our work and home environments. We were given an assignment for that night at home, and to report back the results next day. The assignment was to compliment your wife on her looks, cooking, and being a good mum. Easy? Not at all. The guys complained that this just wasn’t the way they were, and their wives knew that. They would think something was wrong if their husbands started to dish out compliments, but most agreed to complete the task and report back next day anyway. Coming from the West of Scotland, they all had a sarcastic streak, and readily admitted it.

Guess what? The wives (as reported) were delighted, and thankful for the kind words. They didn’t like the sarcasm, but saw it as ‘just the way it was’ and put up with it. The guys thought they were being funny, after all there would be a ripple of laughter when a barbed, sarcastic comment would be made at one of their mates, or at least a smile from their wife. That must make it ok, right? No! How wrong that was!

What does the Bible say about our talk as Christians? How should we treat our friends, and especially our spouses? How about these for a starter, and how do we, (me included) stack up to these commands? I think it is worth giving some good, encouraging talk a chance instead of mean words, because sarcasm is not funny. Take my word for it, or better still take the word of the Apostle Paul:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8 NIV

Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. Ephesians 5:4 NIV