But You'll Love It

I have a friend who seems to have many irons in many fires, and never stops for a rest. In some ways I envy his energy and enthusiasm, but not totally. When a few of our friends get together, he will always have something or some place we should visit or attend. It can be anything from a conference to a light business affair, and everything in between. Hardly a time goes by without him bringing up his thoughts of what he ’knows’ we would all like.

In most instances, everyone declines gently, but sometimes we have to be more emphatic and say, NO! This is always followed up with a repeat invitation as though no one had heard the first time. These things are not everybody’s cup of tea, but then he brings out the big guns, and with some excitement in his voice will raise his voice and say, “But You’ll Love It!”

I was thinking about this in respect of the Christmas celebrations and holidays we all ‘enjoy’. Or do we? The big assumption is that we will love it, in the same way that others enjoy the time which surrounds the Christmas season. But we don’t, do we? Not everyone looks forward to Christmas. Because of the generally expected hype, some will join in as much as they can, but their whole heart isn’t in it. So why doesn’t everyone love Christmas?

Think about the recently bereaved and the empty chair. The wayward child who doesn’t want to be home for Christmas because they are hurting too. The young couple who recently lost their hope for a baby, through no fault of their own. The destitute and homeless. The wife, whose husband just walked out on her and their children. The unhappy list could go on.

Please don’t miss the message when someone talks about a Christmas activity, and seeing the silent response, they say, “But You’ll Love It”. Be sensitive. Be a friend, and try to understand the heart behind the reluctant smile. Chances are they would love to be able to love this time of year as much as you, but they may not be ready. Not yet. Maybe sometime soon, but then again, maybe never in this life.

Anxious?

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:18,19

Thankfully, anxiety isn’t the end game for us. We have the assurance in God that our sorrow can turn to joy as it is recorded for us in John 16:20 when Jesus says “Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” Isn’t that a wonderful promise, and from the lips of Jesus no less!

It’s a short step from anxiety to worry or even depression, but I think that other short step to joy is preferable. Joy is that deep, inner, settled peace and not a happy clappy cheery fixed smile condition when our life is in turmoil. Yes, we all get anxious about so many things, but with the Lord as our helper, it doesn’t need to slip backwards into worry. No, we can have joy instead when we place our faith and trust where we know it needs to be, with our Saviour who faced the cross to give us abundant life, as He told us in John chapter 10 and verse 10 where He assures us: I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Downcast?

For when we came into Macedonia, we had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him. 2 Corinthians 5-7


Being depressed is a dreadful medical condition, and not to be confused with feeling low or downcast. I think I would be right in believing that we all go through a period of darkness, or some would describe it as a wilderness. In any case it’s not a good place to be even when it can be understandable, and not to be compared with clinical depression.


When you or I feel down or very low in spirit, where do we go? Who would we turn to on a human level? For those who have a life partner, he or she will naturally be your go to person, but what if you are on your own, or for a reason best known to yourself you cannot share something with your life partner? The verse makes it clear that in the final analysis, it is “God who comforts the downcast”, but I believe it is a big help to be able to talk to a trusted friend. Not a casual acquaintance, but someone you can trust who will not spill your deepest cares to a third party. Paul’s earthly help came in the form of Titus, his trusted friend.


Never underestimate the strength and importance of your trusted friend. We all need one at some point in our life, and maybe more than once. They are not a substitute for God and His unconditional love, but important nonetheless. I love the way the Psalmist expresses it in Psalm 23:4 when he says: “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me”. He is with us “through the valley of the shadow” and I know we can all identify with being in a deep valley with no one else to lean on but God.


No one suffered loneliness like Jesus when He hung on the cross and His Father God had forsaken Him for a period. So, take heart my friend, your low time will pass eventually. Lean on Jesus who understands completely, and your trusted friend if you are fortunate enough to have one.

Depression

Mention the word depression in any social setting, even with close friends, and the tone of the conversation drops like a stone. We know it happens, and we may even know some folks who have suffered from it, or sadly still do, but we want to keep a healthy distance. After all, it spoils an otherwise good evening, and if you are the one who brings the subject up, friends will distance themselves one by one until you are left on your own. Is that where any depressed person belongs?

Make no mistake, there is a short distance between anxiety and depression if not recognised and tackled both by the sufferer and his or her circle of friends. Like other internal issues, the signs can be well hidden, or perhaps seen but ignored and the last thing anyone wants is the stigma associated with the condition. After all, so the thought goes, you are only one step away from a straightjacket and a padded cell.

Anyone with a deep faith should never be depressed, I hear you say. You have salvation and so many things to live for, and maybe you are right, but there are examples in the Bible of men of God who succumbed to depression in different circumstances. So is it really so strange to think that someone you know will be close to their emotional limit?

If you want to help, here are some things to look for, but are rarely seen. A convincing and ready smile. An encouraging manner. The hard swallow lump in the throat. An unguarded emotional tear. You are looking for a master of facial and emotional disguise, so don’t be surprised when you see a friend ‘go under’ and find yourself saying, “I would never have guessed”. It just shows how good a job they did at hiding, and how poor a job we do as friends in not getting close enough to see, but be assured that you are not alone in missing the signs. The really sad and telling truth is that you probably won’t recognise the condition in your friend until they tip over the visible edge. Such is life!

Refuge

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

When you get into trouble, where do you run? Where is your comfort zone when circumstances change around you, and you feel lost? Depression and physical harm are no stranger to the Christian, because although sinners saved by grace, we are still human.

There is a natural attraction to using retail therapy, or immersing yourself in your spouse, children, or grandchildren. You might even get over it by visiting someone less fortunate than yourself, and that is commendable. But what if the trouble you face is personal, and affects your health in a major way? Doing these things may take the edge off for a short time, but they don’t really do the job completely, if at all.

You need a person you can trust completely, and the closest person to you might be your husband, or wife, although in severe health issues they will almost certainly be out of their depth, no matter how much they love you. All’s not lost though because there is another person in the form of the Lord Jesus Christ, and He is well able to shoulder every trouble or burden you will ever have. There is a condition of course. You have to come in faith, and in repentance put your trust totally in Him by choice because He cares most of all. Just as the verse says:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7