Silence

O LORD, you are my rock of safety. Please help me; don't refuse to answer me. For if you are silent, I might as well give up and die. Psalm28:1NLT

Silence is suspicious! Ask any parent who suddenly notices that the playful laughter and giggles of their little treasures stop, followed by silence. More often than not, it means they have found something to do that would not be liked by mum and dad. Silence is suspicious. Ask the person who is awakened from a deep sleep by the eerie sound of silence as their house is violated by a cat burglar. Yes, silence is suspicious and unhealthy.

We too become silent at times, but ask yourself when that is most likely to happen? I can see two possibilities at least. One, when a usually down and negative person who talks a lot about all his overstated medical ailments, has come to realise that s/he really IS ill this time so nothing constructive can be added or contrived, so silence is their only way out to save face. And Two, which I think more likely, is the silence of someone who has been hurt in some way by friends or trusted colleagues, but due to a sense of misplaced loyalty cannot, and will not, speak out against them. The realisation that they may not be all that s/he had thought is just too much to bear, so the obvious response becomes a retreated silence. The trouble now is that any underlying issue cannot and will not be addressed.

When your normally upbeat and talkative friend goes quiet, ask yourself why, then do the best and most helpful thing you possibly can. Draw alongside to let them know you are here for them, and most of all, you care. You may never know in this life the good you have done, but be assured, your friend will know. A parting thought because the opposite holds true too: If you, or no one else, comes alongside for them, that has an equal and opposite effect on your friend.

We must not get tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time. We must not give up. When we have the opportunity to do good to anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers. Galatians6:9-10ERV

Small Talk

I wasn’t feeling too well at all, and I was worried that the pain in my abdomen could have been something serious, so I went to A&E, gave my details and waited. And waited. And waited. Eventually the nurse showed me into a cubicle and told me to wait for the doctor on duty, who would be with me shortly. In all this time the pain was getting more acute, and my mind was turning somersaults. I was even more convinced something serious was wrong, but at least I was in the right place for treatment. They might even admit me to an acute ward.

Sure enough, this nice young doctor breezed in, sat down, and looked at me but was silent for what felt like ages. He asked me what my hobbies were, and what kind of family I came from. Then he asked my favourite colour, and football team. All the while he was smiling a big broad, friendly smile. Right, he said let’s get down to it, and I thought my problem was in the caring hands of the right person. Did you see the TV last night? What about the game? Did you see the second goal? That should never have been allowed, but these referees don’t always see everything, do they? They can’t possibly have eyes in the back of their heads.

Now I was getting panic stricken and the pain was unbearable. Fearing the worst, I blurted out, but what about my pain doctor? Can you help me? The young doctor looked puzzled and answered slowly, so that I could get the full import of his words. I am not long out of medical school, and the most important thing they taught us was to make the patient feel at ease. Strike up a conversation. Find a common subject to discuss. Ask about their family. Do you not see? That’s what I have been doing. It is essential that we make the patient feel comfortable in our company, and be able to think they can trust us.

But, but, what about my stomach pain I asked in irritation? Oh, he said, you’ll have to come back another time because we haven’t really got to know each other well enough just yet. Maybe then, we will be at a point where you can feel easier with me, and I can feel able to help you. Goodbye, please make another appointment on the way out. NEXT! (Ok, it’s a story, but you get my drift!)

The point? Don’t we want the doctor to do his job? And the Lawyer? And the Policeman or Policewoman? Right to the Plumber and Electrician in your home to fix a problem. You don’t want the small, friendly chit chat when your sink is backed up. You don’t want the tradesman to come back another time when he gets to know us better, do we? Stupid question. Why then is it wrong for us to expect our Pastors and church leaders to get down to their calling and point out our Spiritual areas of weakness as soon as they can? It isn’t really necessary to get alongside us with long small talk when we grieve and mourn. Or when we are facing a lost eternity. Doctor, Lawyer, or Minister, especially Pastors, please focus on the job at hand, or to be more exact, your vocation and calling. We respect you for that alone.

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew10:28NIV